u/OptimalOpening9772

I’m a nonbinary trans masc who is attracted to men and masc people. possible transphobia? I’m sorry in advance, a lot of feelings are coming up and I’m not an eloquent writer as of lately.

So my ex came out to me yesterday as a trans femme. I’m happy for her and wish her nothing but the best. We split a while ago for different reasons but remained friends.

I also found out that another ex may be trans femme. I’m not quite sure but their (sorry I’m not sure of pronouns) profile pictures are suggestive (a kinky hypnosis pic of a girl with red hair, not sure if this was a reference to an anime or game or something). We are no longer close and I don’t feel the need to reach out at the moment.

My current partner is masc nonbinary. The thought did come up what if he also outs as trans femme down the line. I’d be devastated but also be supportive if that were the case.

I think a part of me is really sad cos I saw myself as a gay man all this time even as a closeted/eggy teenager. I’m in my 30s now. I think another part of me is sad because a lot of the close masc/nonbinary people in my life realized they’re femme and are out. and while I am super happy for them, I’m one of two trans mascs in my general friendship groups. I feel so lonely lol even the trans masc support groups around where I live meet just once a month.

Also I have no attraction to women. I thought very briefly when I was still dating. but when I tried to flirt with femmes and women I automatically felt… incompatible and told them I wasn’t interested, then went our own ways. I’m having an sexuality crisis here cos wtf am I if I date men and mascs and some of them are actual eggs? Lmao

So what the hell am I? An egg opener? 😭

I apologize if I didn’t flair this correctly, I’m not sure what to flag it as.

TLDR - ex who broke up with me two years ago still has my discord info, is there anything deeper or am I reaching?

Long windy version: I’m still friends with a few exes on social media for common hobbies like movies and bicycling. I’ve unfriended and been unfriended mutually by others. Not a big deal that’s just life right.

I realized one ex who broke up with me (and wanted no further contact because they were moving abroad) still has my discord. As much as I enjoyed their company even platonically, I would be happy if we communicated again but I’m not gonna reach out first lol

The topic of “not all men” came up in another trans masc sub but I wasnt liking the vibe of the OP or most of the responses lol so I wanted to know this subs opinion of the phrase.

This is something I struggle with personally. On one hand I understand where the phrase came from. I try to hold space for women and other people who have been hurt by men, cis or trans.

But I’m also having a difficult time being lumped into the gender that perpetuates so much harm? I don’t know how else to phrase this.

Whenever this topic comes up, I feel like the general consensus for men is to shut up and accept this fact, but I also feel like trans men and mascs are already ignored often.

Looking for advice and wisdom.

Edit: thank you everyone for the comments so far. They’ve been really enlightening and helping me understand better.

(I’m trying my best not to give out too much PHI in this). Patient was downgraded from tele to med surg. Hgb was 6.9, and had a suspected blood clot in one of his limbs so he had a stat US. He never received a transfusion before so we were waiting for his type and cross to finalize. He’s in my unit. We got him comfortable, vitals were ok, no obvious bleeding on assessment. then got a stat scheduled US time slot for his possible DVT at 2:00 PM.

Right when my aides took him down to US, his unit of blood was ready but it was also near shift change.

I’m cleaning up patients while my aides were gone. My other patient aspirated during lunch so I’m calling a rapid response nurse for help. Once she’s stable I’m finishing up meds for my other patients. I really wanted to get my blood transfusion started and asked the break nurse for help but she is also swamped with other tasks. and then boom. Shift change.

The evening shift nurse was pissed at me and I understand her frustration. I told her and our supervisor what happened. After the nurse left to do her rounds the supervisor told me not to worry about the situation.

What else could I have done better? I’m trying to learn from this but I’m struggling.

I’ve been on that other side of receiving a patient from noc and having to start a transfusion right away so I understand how stressful it is to start off the shift like that.

Hi everybody. Looking for advice for suit fittings. I live in the Bay Area California so if anyone knows any good places around East Bay or SF that would be great.

Otherwise, any advice for a 4’11/pre op trans masc like me looking to get a suit fitting? This would be for a friends wedding in the summer.

I was told to go to a men’s warehouse to get the measurements but I’d like to ask around for some advice before going in person.

Thanks in advance.