Whenever I see two guys in a relationship that are the same height and stature, it makes me so envious it hurts. I’m just way too damn small, the vast majority of guys I’ll ever be in a relationship with are significantly taller than me. I’m masc, and I know that because of my height, most men would perceive me as femme. It makes me legitimately depressed sometimes.
hey, so… my partner is cis and a total bottom, which is no problem to me since i prefer to top anyways. i enjoyed piv like once in my life? and it only felt good for like two mins, so i don’t really want to consciously repeat that. tho when we frot during foreplay it’s like… i wanna just make him slide in me, no clue where is this urge coming from. does anyone have the same issue please? TT
just the thought bothers me tbh and no matter what i do, i always think about it and it’s just so confusing to me
I'm a transman in my 30s and very detached from myself because of past trauma and I've never had sex/ i thought I was asexual. I've done other stuff.im really attracted to thick buff bottoms but also men with incredibly dominant top energy but idk . I don't have a dick plus I'm detached from my emotions to the point where I can't figure out if I would like to penetrate someone, just using my imagination . But I am curious about it still. And due to past trauma I have thoughts of being penetrated idk it feels more like trauma related thank a normal scenario. i could be verse but I don't knw i just want to figure it out before I meet anyone so I don't have some kinda of panic about it. I do like the idea of giving pleasure to someone as opposed to me being touched intimately by someone in away that interacts with my chest or lower regions . How do I figure this out?
I'm not on Reddit regularly and don't use it much to chat. Sometimes, I get random message requests and accept them bc I'm curious and can simply block if it goes bad.
Today was the first time I accepted a request that looked normal but then escalated to something kind of sexual. Apart from my autism making me miss every single context clue, am I also missing Reddit etiquette?
Is it standard to immediately delete message requests you're not expecting? Or at least to know it's likely something NSFW?
I'm okay and nothing bad happened, but it was just a bit overwhelming to deal with and I'd like to know in advance for next time.
Hey all,
I recently downloaded taimi again and I've gotten an influx of straight dudes "liking" me. It didn't happen as much when I had the app before. I don't mess with straight dudes AT ALL. I'm just curious, are they seeing me as a woman or a trans woman? I ask because I pass 100% and don't look feminine at all in my profile pics. So, I don't know if they're confused about which way I'm transitioning? I don't engage with them because either way, I don't want it. Lol It's just strange to me.
I barely use Grindr but today I was bored and downloaded it again and some guy offered me 270$ to come to his house to chill, drink/smoke and see if it’ll lead to anything more. Is this normal or am I gonna be sold on the black market? I’m 18 y.o btw
Edit: it’s not one of those bots that redirect u to telegram, we had a human conversation and he said he just likes to spoil twinks
Edit 2: I’ve now been offered similar things(pay4play) from another 10 different guys. I’m deleting this fuckass app this isn’t even entertaining anymore smh
I am not very physically or emotionally comfortable around many people, and really like my space. I am great at setting hard boundaries and I love doing it. But, this means that I am so pent up. I haven't been with anyone is two years and I want to try Grindr. That said, when coming close to potentially meeting someone, I become so physically anxious that it feels like my body freezes up and my chest tightens, and the feeling worsens until I have to cancel it all and turn him down.
I have been in a relationship with one person before and I felt the same feeling in the first week of dating him. It eventually mellowed out to complete comfortability and adoration before it ended, but I had to get through that hurdle first.
Does anyone else struggle with this? In my head, hooking up sounds great but I almost have to force myself to actually do it and I don't know why. Anyone else have issues with physical intimacy? It does not stem from any homophobia.
Hey guys,
I went on a date with a guy a few days ago and we hit it off well. Ive never had a date this good. We met at a bar around the afternoon and then had dinner and cocktails after. Like we just wanted to extend it.
We established beforehand that I was trans and he is bisexual so he said he was okay with it. Yet as we got cocktails he kept wanting to kiss me and touching my waist. He was calling me cute and said I was cute when talking about nerdy stuff and I just started getting dysphoric and wanted to get out. We ended the date soon after that, exchanging numbers and I said that I would text him and definitely want to hang out again but im not so sure now.
I havent texted him yet. Since we had such a great click I feel like an asshole for basically ghosting him after he paid for like 3 different spots but he made me very uncomfortable in the end even if it went so well before.
I just really dont know if I should dismiss my feelings as just general anxiety around relationships or should see him again to see if its different. Plus what should i fucking text him ughh. Please help.
I’m a trans man dating a cis gay man, and lately I’ve been struggling a lot with feeling sexually “not enough” in our relationship.
We’ve been together about 6 months and overall the relationship actually feels very emotionally secure. We’re both physically affectionate people, he initiates cuddling/touch, calls me handsome/cute, and sometimes initiates sex too. So this isn’t a situation where he’s cold or distant.
But our sex life has definitely slowed down compared to the beginning, and I’ve realized that’s triggered a lot of insecurity in me.
Before me, he had only been with cis men. I’m the first person he’s been with who has a vagina, and even though he identifies fully as gay, my brain keeps spiraling into thoughts like:
- what if he misses cis male bodies
- what if I can’t fully satisfy him sexually
- what if eventually he realizes he wants something I can’t give him
I know he watches gay porn too, which rationally I know doesn’t mean he isn’t attracted to me, but emotionally it sometimes feeds the insecurity.
The complicated part is that I actually don’t think he’s a bad partner or secretly trying to hurt me. He’s told me before that in past relationships/dating situations he felt pressure to be overly sexual in order to keep men interested. I, on the other hand, have a much higher sex drive and tend to connect sex with feeling desired and emotionally close.
So now I’m wondering if part of what’s happening is:
- he naturally has a lower libido than me
- he relaxed once he realized I wasn’t only with him for sex
- and my brain interpreted the drop in frequency as “he’s losing attraction to me because I’m trans”
I also want to add that I’m actually very proud of being trans and outside of this relationship insecurity, I don’t usually spend much time comparing myself to cis men or wishing I was cis. That’s part of why this has been emotionally confusing for me. It feels less like “general dysphoria” and more like fear specifically connected to being with a cis gay man who historically has only been with cis men.
I guess I’m just wondering if other trans men dating cis gay men have experienced this kind of fear/insecurity? Or if any cis gay men who have dated trans men could share perspective.
How do you separate actual incompatibility from insecurity/anxiety? And how do you stop constantly comparing yourself to cis men sexually?
i'm giving up on dating at this point. i've had nothing but unsuccessful ventures.
i've been out since high school, and every guy i went on a date with ended up being transphobic.
now since i've been in college, it's been almost the same thing. lots of guys who i talk to or match with online are like 'yeah i only like women and trans men' or something along those lines (which generally just puts me off). on a few rare occasions (which have only been dating apps), i've matched, hit it off with someone, and then they reveal they're actually a femme-aligned gender identity and didn't update their profile. i'm very much gay, and only am attracted to men, so my attraction is killed off almost instantly.
i literally can't win. like, i am basically the least date-having person ever. being a trans poc makes it especially hard, where i go to a pwi with a lot of 'hidden' racists/transphobes.
what do i even do? i'm starting to resign my thoughts. i don't want to give up entirely, ive never actually been fully on a date because it always ends prematurely because of something i mentioned before. but fuck, i'm losing hope.
Too many women in my life
I’m here to vent, I don’t need advice, I just want to get some things out of my head because I’m feeling a little alone in some of my feelings and I don’t want them to fester
I know most of this (if not all of it) is in my own head, but I grew up in a family of all women, I went to an all women’s school, most of my friends and loved ones are either straight/bi/lesbian women or bisexual men and bisexual nonbinary people. I can’t tell my straight friends that I’m leaving our book club because I didn’t anticipate being this turned off /uncomfortable constantly reading about women having sex (it’s a romantasy book club). I think I have exactly 1 gay male friend and we didn’t really get to be that close before I moved to a new state for a new job. I DO know a few other ftm folks but… they’re all bisexual and dating women.
And it’s isolating.
I feel like a lot of people in my life expect me to be attracted to women either because I’m queer, or because I have the same parts as them, and I’m not. I logically know my (bisexual) husband doesn’t view me as a woman and he isn’t attracted to me because I’m womanly, but I also know that I hardly pass most days and I still have the female parts that I consider repulsive but everyone else in my life thinks they make women sexy; on my bad days like today I can feel my brain pressing the idea into my head that my husband likes me because I have tits and a vagina and not because I’m attractive enough as a *man.* I can’t ask him to stop talking about how much he likes women because he has told me in the past that he feels like his attraction to women makes him less queer than others, but I often feel like me not being bisexual makes ME less queer than others (as evidenced by the fact that most of the queer people I know are all bi or pan). And even though he is attracted to men, we both have VERY different types so I can’t even relate to him about us finding men hot together (he likes them skinny and sad, I like them robust and cheerful)
Also it often feels like I’m being pelted with propaganda from all sides that *I picked wrong*, I’m making a mistake, I wasn’t built right because *I’m not attracted to women* and i’m repulsed by my own body parts. Men aren’t “marketed” to the public in the same way as women and even watching movies or tv shows or reading books or playing video games, women are more often designed to seem like they’re selling sexuality to me and not like they’re just… people. Being attracted to women is seen as a default in our society to the point that it’s fetishized, whereas being attracted to men always seems to come with an apology. And I get it! Patriarchy and men suck!
Idk a lot of the time it just feels like a salesman keeps coming to my door every single day to try and sell me pool cleaner when I don’t even have a pool or even WANT a pool. And I’m so tired of it. I just want someone in my life that I can relate to.
Hey guys i come here asking this because i need help big times 😭. Me and my (cis) bf have been together for a year and we have occasionally done PIA with him on the recieving end.
A few times i wanted to try some backdoor play and he tried with just a finger and honestly it was fine, no pain, no burning. But still, i get freaked out and bail out almost immediately. Yesterday we tried again and the same thing happen. He told me i should try in my own (so i can understand better how far i can actually go) but i don’t know how to get comfortable with doing the act on my own.
I don’t know if i’d like using toys but maybe i could try with a small one (suggestions?). I really want to do anal with my boyfriend and I am really just freaking out for no reason 😭. I get scared of getting hurt even tho i’m feeling no pain.
Met this enby trans masc on a t4t app 32 (nb) 30 (Op posting). Reaaaaallllllyyyy like them.
But so scared to get close and harm myself in the long run. Have so SI issues along a string of personality disorder issues and dissociative disorder issues.
Am disabled. Think they’re so hot 🥵. Was wondering if it was wise to tell them I need a few months and consistent therapy to talk to them again? They’re going through a lot…..I just wanna cuddle and nom their neck and back and make out with them.
Im a trans man btw.
Am on the ace spectrum but moreso demi/grey leaning considering some of my alters are more sexual. I really….rrrreeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy like making out with them. Could do it all day. Like giving them a lot of massages.💆 But only saw them once in person. We both have mental disabilities and they also have alters and BPD…and they’re so hot. But im scared we’ll trigger one another.
Really like their 🍑….okay imma stop now
This is a short story. I am also confused as to what actually happened or if I was overthinking it.
I was walking on the treadmill as I always do after I’m done working out but I drank a lot of water so I decided to go to the bathroom. As I was walking to the bathroom, I was staring at the tv and there was a guy off to the side at a stretching machine. The tv is on the other side of the track (treadmill inside of track where other cardio machines are) and he was on the side I was on. Anyway he ended up getting into my peripheral vision and I accidentally looked at him as he stared at me.
The second I passed him, he started following me or at least that’s what I think happened. I took off one of my AirPods to see if he was trying to talk to me but he didn’t say anything. When I was halfway to the bathroom, it didn’t feel like he was following me anymore since the changing rooms are near the bathroom so he could’ve gone there.
I entered the bathroom, sat down, at least 30 seconds pass by, I hear the bathroom door open, stay open for a couple seconds, then close. When you enter the men’s bathroom, you can’t see if anyone is in the stall so I assume, maybe the same guy, probably thought I finished using the bathroom and left the gym.
After that I stayed in the bathroom for a couple more minutes before leaving and I didn’t see him again after that.
I kept looking over my shoulder till I was halfway to the bathroom. I was a little bit scared and really anxious. Was I probably overthinking and imagining stuff? Or what if he really did follow me to the bathroom? What was he expecting to happen?
Edit: after reading everyone’s post, it def makes more sense. I’ve never heard of the word cruising before. I know people do that but never knew the word but I never even thought that it would happen to me.
I wish I could’ve been asked out on a date rather than being cruised.
Either way, unfortunate for him, even though nothing happened, I’m asexual.
Edit 2: Forgot to mention that the gym is in a community center. When you walk a little ways in, there is a scanner at the front desk, you scan with your membership card, and right next to the scanner, are the stairs to the bottom floor to the machines where you workout. Upper floor, where I was, is where all the cardio machines (treadmill, bicycle, etc), track, and stretching area is.
So yesterday I (21) had incredible sex with this guy (cis, 23) I met on hinge. He was very attractive and I thought the sex was very good and he seemed to enjoy it a lot too. There was a lot of kissing and the whole experience went on for quite a while. We talked about meeting up again and he hugged me when I left. I messaged him on snap today and he has not responded. I then went back to hinge to look at something else and noticed he no longer shows up in my matches. However, I do not seem to have been removed or blocked on snapchat. I’m just on delivered. I’m disappointed that he seems to be ghosting me because I really want to hook up again, but I know that’s somewhat to be expected. My main question is why would he remove me on hinge but not snapchat? Any theories? Also I’m realizing that maybe I’m not cut out for casual sex or maybe I just need to do it with people who are less attractive to me because this is not making me feel good.
I’m currently day 3 post hysto and obviously they say no vaginal sex until you’re fully healed, but should sex that’s purely Tdick stimulation still be avoided?
(I know after top surgery my libido decreased while I was in recovery but apparently my hysto did nothing to effect it and it’s the same as always 💀)
Hi all,
Anyone else have issues with mismatched libidos/being the ones to initiate sexting/setting up hook ups? I have a fuck buddy who I have really good sex with but our schedules only let us meet up maybe once every 2-3 weeks.
As you guys know, testosterone makes me horny as hell and I find myself being the main one to reach out and mention that I’m thinking abt something we did last time, that I’m excited to see him again, etc. It starts feeling somewhat humiliating after a while though, it’s something I’m discussing in therapy. He does also initiate, just not nearly as much. Am I just gonna have to outsource and find some good sex for that 2-3 week break period 😭
Title
Putting this out there since we're hearing a lot of trans youth rhetoric these days. I was a trans kid. I am a now trans adult. I regret nothing. Ask me anything.
Hello, I’ve been micro dosing T for 1,5 years now and the changes are happening at a very slow pace, which I am okay with. I am aiming toward a more androgynous look. I have my first appointment for top surgery scheduled for jan 2027. I present very NB, very short hair kinda like a Ben Affleck look alike face minus the facial hair. I’m starting to get “sir” d sometimes which I like. When you look at my body it is clear I have breasts and hips. I really want to hook up with cis gay men but I am struggling. Are there guys out there who go for someone who’s where I’m at during my transition? I feel scared guys will be like “wtf, get away from me, you’re a woman!” I welcome advice and experiences from guys who shared this feeling and were still able to find guys to hook up with while having a body that still has a female shape.
I don’t know how to begin with this. I guess I’ll start with the fact that the one and only relationship I’ve ever been in was a decade ago and I’m now in my 30’s having a mid life crisis it seems 🫠
I started transitioning 4 years ago and it was like a switch went off and I’m now very gay. My issue is that relationship wasn’t.. the best, and it caused me to basically abstain from relationships and intimacy since then. So I have little to no experience in my formative years and then spent a decade in not only celibacy but in isolation, offline. I’m not on any apps because I have no idea how to navigate them socially.
Unfortunately going on T has kicked my libido back into gear like clumping a rusty old boiler on the fritz but I’m lowkey terrified?! I know what I want and what I don’t want but is it out there?
I hear so often that cis gay men don’t like us and want absolutely nothing to do with us and that notion has buried itself in so deep that I can’t shake the feeling of dread I get when I think about even attempting to find someone compatible, cruising or anything else in that ballpark.
Someone tell me dating and/or hooking up as a gay trans man isn’t all doom and gloom? 😭