u/johnnyisdarling

ALL of these trans teenagers want to be androgynous, or feminine and have pink hair septum piercings PRONOUNS

I am so disgusted they still want to wear makeup have long hair listen to emo music, eat hot chip and lie..and be bisexual

Even if they REALLY wanted to be gay, they would have to accept that gay guys only like masculine studs with a six pack and they already think its gross that they're trans omgg

You must accept utter conformity or you are cringe, go to gym and eat rotisserie chicken or please stay 5,000 feet away from me, even though I’m 35 and havent been a teenager for idk how long now

No, I don’t care that being a gender non conforming gay dude is still hard because these tomboys are ruining my very important self image :/ stop watching anime. Touch grass. PLAY FOOTBALL

Wasnt really sure what to tag this as

But when it comes to trans night's at bars/clubs what have your experience been?

I know for example that club cobra has a trans night called transfix. I've thought about going but I guess I'm worried about it being not a good environment still or something. If anyone has gone lmk :) in LA btw. I don't know of many other bars or clubs with a similar thing in the area, so if you do also open to recommendations

Also just in general at bars, what do ya'll do if you dont pass? I doubt I'd be seen as a random straight woman, but I could easily be mistaken as an androgynous lesbian. Should I like....wear a pronoun pin idk

So I am a red blooded, biological, homosexual MALE

I have only ever liked dick and muscles! But lately, I have been seeing these trans men...uhmmm trans...women? On my gay dating apps, and at bars. One time I bought a tran a drink without even KNOWING and felt totally duped, why would I pay for the drink of a man with a vagina....

I finally caved into my apparently, heterosexual leaning desires and banged a t slur. It was so totally awf putting and I regret it to this day

Gay Jesus, can you forgive me? And trans community, is it okay if I find you disgusting and can't sleep with you even if you get phallo?? Its not the same as the real thing

I HOPE this doesn't make me transphobic!! <33 love yewww

I just DON'T understand why she, I mean he I GUESS would RUIN his beautiful female form

I know he was never into men. I don't care and love having parasocial relationships!!

Hunter Schafer, meanwhile, is very attractive to me 🤤 for some unknown reason

I thought trans men never medically transitioned or changed in any way. Wait, are they even real?

Anyway. Both groups are supposed to appeal to ME and what I find HAWT

Title says it all ☝️

I just cant get over how this mindset effects the whole community. Including some cis gays/lesbians as well

I can't believe I have to explain to people that discouraging trans men from transitioning because "men are evil" or whatever is rooted in misogyny anyway. Because it inevitably ties back into how we're ruining our "female form" or desirability to straight men

And it's so weird because the same cis (and often straight) women that make these statements are constantly complaining about cis men.

I've had some very bad experiences with cis men, I understand not every complaint is without cause. But spending so much time ragging on men while also being obsessed with getting their approval and being seen as attractive is so weird? They act like it’s their life's purpose, so it should be mine too!

I see this in a similar vein, impacting masc cis lesbians because them being masculine is often viewed as them "basically" being men, then straight women will make ridiculous comments about how femme lesbians that date mascs should just be straight. Okay then why don't straight women date masc lesbians then

Obviously this all ties into bioessentialism and no matter how supportive people pretend they are, they usually think trans women shouldn't be included in feminism either

It’s tiring. I'll even see other trans people make similar statements and I'm like dawg, I hope you realize if you’re a trans person that genuinely believes all men are "born" evil, a lot of people are only superficially including you in their beliefs. What they mean is straight, cis, white women are allowed to voice their concerns and everyone else inevitably doesn’t count at some point.

Bigotry is LEARNED. Otherwise what would be the point of most activism if certain individuals have immutable negative qualities?

Maybe controversial? Or could just upset some people upon reading. Also kind of a ramble bear with me

I have a long, complicated history with working hard to finally be deemed conventionally attractive as a woman. Honestly I don't think I really had an "ugly" face, and once I started "learning" how to be feminine and got contacts etc, I definitely got a lot of attention from men.

I'd say I started fitting into this sort of like cutesy twee category. People would still kinda neg me and call me unconventional or say my face is weirdly unique or whatever but they were still manic pixie dream girling me and pretending to be obsessed with me or something. I also knew that since I genuinely went from being perceived as ugly to attractive, that when guys called me unconventional it was sometimes just to be a jerk

Dating still wasn't easy for me. Every guy marveled that I somehow acted masculine or spoke "too boldly", etc. I still somehow, just never fit the gender roles expected of me.

But I feel like I'll experience a sharp decline in social status, and desirability I guess. Part of the reason I feared transitioning was losing out on finally feeling semi attractive to men. Which sucks

It may sound ridiculous but especially when it comes to dating gay/bi men, I'd imagine the beauty standards are different? How will I even know I'm attractive anymore.

I know my face and body type will (probably) stay relatively the same. But now I'll have to deal with chasers, people uninterested in trans men, and possibly being perceived as less attractive to a wide variety of people.

I don't know how to navigate that. And I also don't see myself becoming super masc, I'll probably always dabble with androgyny.

Anyway, I don't know if I look forward to learning a whole new set of rules. How do people deal w this?

Does anyone else have this experience with cis women where they don't understand that being a trans man isn’t a privilege?

Even once people pass or they're stealth, there are still issues unique to being trans. I just find it weird

I've also heard our rates of SA are actually higher and we tend to be paid less than cis women too, and this seems to surprise people for whatever reason.

I cant help but feel people, in a misguided attempt to be an ally, don't consider the nuances here or say we can't experience misogyny because men aren't "supposed to."

Maybe once I pass I would gain social privileges or be treated better in some aspects, I've heard some trans men share that experience. But it really doesn’t seem like a linear or universal thing.

Idk, I just feel a bit of pushback from cis women on this sometimes but overall I don't feel like I'm moving into an upgraded social category at all. I mean I'll have to see what T does over time, but yeah. When I was out in high school, I was threatened daily. People were disgusted by me. Even if sometimes I was viewed as a man, it was as a weird failed one that was too feminine. I had to go back into the closet for my own safety

I also feel sort of like people wanted me to be a lesbian, or a queer woman so badly. Like the proximity to that is cooler to people, or matters more or something. I'm not sure people will ever see me as a "regular" gay guy, and the mismatch between how I look and my internal sense of self confuses people. Like you're "gay" for liking men?

Yes....

Hi :)

Just curious how the band/music has impacted you.

For me, it was a big part in realizing I'm queer. But even aside from that, I'd be listening to their songs then something weird would happen. Like I'd be thinking about someone for whatever reason then they'd randomly come back into my life. Or I had this bad feeling my life was gonna blow up soon, would obsessively listen to a song, and then my life did in fact blow up recently lol

The lyrics are often really beautiful too. I love poetry, so I've started becoming interested in Morrissey's inspirations for his songs. Obviously he loves Oscar Wilde

I also have a special connection to both Morrissey and Marr coming from working class families, even the coal miner strike in "Last Night I Dreamt" means a lot to me since I am from a poor family that historically, lived in one of those company towns in West VA.

Anyway it's been very formative for my identity and a sense of belonging! I keep coming back to them, especially the Meat Is Murder album.