u/Orayat192

I recently graduated from senior high school in the Philippines and originally planned to take a hospitality-related course. But after suddenly migrating to the U.S., my family basically decided my entire future for me and started forcing me into Nursing because it’s the only career they see as “worth it.” Every time I bring up what I actually want, they immediately shut it down and treat my interests like they’re childish, useless, or something I’ll eventually regret.

At this point, it feels like I’m not even being treated like my own person. Whenever I explain that I don’t want to stay in the U.S. permanently, they act like I’m ungrateful or incapable of understanding my own future. They constantly guilt-trip me with “family sacrifices,” compare me to other people who supposedly regretted their own degrees, and make it seem like I owe them my entire life just because we migrated here. It’s always their vision, their plan, their future — never mine.

The worst part is that I never even wanted to move here in the first place. During the immigration process, I kept saying I didn’t want to migrate, but nobody really cared what I wanted. I felt dragged into a life I never asked for, and now I’m terrified I’ll end up stuck in a career and country I genuinely don’t want just because saying “no” makes me look selfish or ungrateful.

What makes this even more stressful is that we’re already deep in loans and financial problems, yet they still want to add student loans on top of everything just to force me into a degree I never chose. And realistically, I already know that debt will probably end up becoming my responsibility later. It feels insane to be pressured into taking on years of debt for a career I genuinely don’t want, in a country I never even wanted to settle in permanently. Instead of feeling excited about my future, I feel like my entire life is being treated like some financial investment or retirement plan for the family.

I honestly feel trapped. What can I realistically do if I genuinely don’t see myself staying in the U.S. long-term?

I recently graduated from senior high school in the Philippines and originally planned to take a hospitality-related course. However, we suddenly migrated to the U.S., and now my family is pushing me into Nursing because they see it as one of the most practical and stable careers here. They keep telling me the field I actually want is impractical and won’t give me a good future compared to Nursing.

They also keep saying I don’t understand their perspective and that I’ll regret my choices later once I start working. They often bring up relatives who pursued creative or non-medical fields and supposedly ended up regretting it because they didn’t earn enough.

The problem is that I never really wanted to move here in the first place. My original plan was to work, save money, and eventually continue my studies and life back in the Philippines. I don’t really see myself settling in the U.S. permanently, but my family wants all of us to stay together long-term. Whenever I try explaining that I don’t plan to stay here forever, they immediately shut the conversation down.

Even during the immigration process, I kept telling my mom that I didn’t want to move, but I felt like I didn’t really have a choice. On top of that, I feel guilty because my aunt petitioned us, so wanting to leave feels like an utang na loob issue.

What can I realistically do if I genuinely don’t see myself staying in the U.S. long-term?