u/Organic-West-8417

My sister is having a birthday dinner with our family at a restaurant. I don’t want to go for a number of reasons, none of which are personal to my sister or her birthday in anyway. So tell me if I’m being ridiculous.

The dinner is one hour after I get off work, about 10 minutes away from my office. However when I get off I then have to drive 25 minutes across town to pick up my child, another 10 minutes home, get us both changed and ready to go, then drive 30 minutes back to the complete opposite side of town, where I already drove to/from going to/from work. Gas is not cheap..
another thing is I do not like the restaurant. Frankly I do not like the kind of food. At all. My very young, picky eating, food allergy ridden child will absolutely not eat anything at this restaurant either. We would just be there to be there.
Then after dinner and the 30 drive back home it’ll be past bedtime.

I can try to work remotely from home on this day, so that way at least I’m not doubling my drives and only have to make the drive across town the one instance. But then there’s still the issue of time and not even liking the food.. and being out past bedtime.

I don’t want to be selfish or petty but I am also a recovering people pleaser so I need help sometimes.

Thanks.

Please delete if not allowed.. not sure how to proceed. My ex husband is very abusive, controlling and narcissistic. Our divorce has been final for over a year. I am the primary physical parent with 60% and he has 40% but we have joint legal. For the most part we have kept things civil, mainly because I’m in therapy and see his tactics now and just play along or gray rock. We used the talking parents app during the divorce process but haven’t needed to since then.
Fast forward to present day. I am buying a new home and our child mentioned it to him. He confronted me so I confirmed I was under contract on a house. He shouted “why didn’t you tell me?!” and demanded to know where it was. I told him I had no obligation to tell him, especially since we hadn’t even gotten to inspection yet, but eventually gave him the address after he insisted he had a right to know where his child will live. Which I don’t disagree with, but still.. he is furious and “not okay” with the home location because of the school district. We live in a major city in a Midwest state, and it is in the city’s school district, however we are close enough to the suburb our martial home was in, and I had mentioned we could try to open enroll to that district. He demanded we stop texting and go back to the talking parents app. Then sent me the messages below.

Does he have any leg to stand on with this or is it just another attempt to control me? How can you possibly try to dictate where someone else buys a home just because you don’t like the school district.
I mentioned not everyone can afford to buy a 4 bed 4 bath home in the suburbs as a single mom and his reply was “well I’d just rent forever then, this decision is important important than what you want.”

A little more context: our child is only three. We have years until she is even going to school. The house is in the city limits but it’s a very nice older established neighborhood on a cul de sac. I was there a couple days ago for the inspection and there was a family across the street playing outside with kids around my child’s age. It’s quiet and lined with trees. The house itself is updated and perfect lay out. I honestly feel incredibly fortunate to have found a house in this shape, in this location, in this price range. It is close enough that to our old home that she can keep attending the same daycare she’s been at since infant hood, and we can maintain the same routines, but unfortunately I couldn’t afford to keep our much larger family home or buy another one in the suburb.. I’m still providing a life and a home for our child.

I’m sorry this is so long. Thanks if you made it this far.

Did anyone else catch this lolol

WIBTAH if I didn’t go to my sisters birthday dinner