u/Original-Coast8062

For context we’ve been engaged for 7 months. We are getting married 10 months from now and are doing an intimate destination wedding. My fiance has a few brothers and cousins who he is very close with. I’ve asked and encouraged him to think about picking someone for his best man as I’ve already asked my sister to be my maid of honor. Every time we talk about it he says “I don’t know” or “does it matter?” He doesn’t really seem to care if he has a best man or not but we originally agreed our only members of the bridal party would be a best man and maid of honor.

We recently talked about it because I asked if he has put any thought into it yet and his response was “i’ll just see who RSVPs yes to the wedding and pick someone from that list”. I feel like this is so wrong since the RSVPs are due only a few months before the wedding. I also just feel like if you want someone to be in your wedding you should ask them know more than a few months in advance. I don’t want whoever he picks as his best man to feel like he was chosen last minute.

I’m getting frustrated because everyone keeps asking me who he picked and I feel silly constantly saying he hasn’t decided yet. I just feel like he needs to pick someone soon but I don’t want to keep nagging him.

Side note: please do not give me any opinions about how we are doing a destination wedding. Our immediate family and closest friends are happy for us and we have been very transparent that if people aren’t able to make it we fully understand and plan on doing a small local reception at a later date.

Scenario: We’re engaged and have our wedding date set. Another couple in the family is not engaged yet but planning on getting engaged this year and they decided to book their wedding a few weeks before ours. Both weddings require travel and family doesn’t know what to do since they’re only a few weeks apart. It’s a small family and everyone is close. In an ideal world everyone would be at both weddings but now it’s a pick and choose situation which just sucks.

backstory: my fiancé and I have been engaged since December 2025. We booked a destination wedding for May 2027. We bounced around with ideas a bit but always were planning spring of 2027. Turns out my fiancés cousin and his girlfriend are planning a destination wedding 3 weeks before ours. Mind you they aren’t engaged yet. Apparently they booked the venue 3 months ago and have been talking to everyone on the side about it. Are we wrong for feeling annoyed by this? My fiancé’s family is pretty small so it’s basically asking people to pick and choose whose wedding to go to since they’re only a few weeks apart. BTW as of now they’re still not engaged and the destination that they picked is an 18+ hour flight from where we all live so it’s a big trip. Our destination is about 7 hour flight. Either way my fiancé and I are annoyed because we are currently engaged and planning and they aren’t engaged but still planning. My fiancé is also super close with the his cousin so it would bother him to not be able to attend his wedding. BUT it seems impossible to make that destination work only a few before ours. I feel like we should have first dibs:(