Former foster child
Good evening. I need some advice.
About 13 years ago I was a foster parent.
There was a teenager I was fostering that was about 17 years old. He stayed with us for about a year, did well at first, but kept getting into various sorts of trouble and running away. He was placed elsewhere right before turning 18 and immediately incarcerated and has spent the better part of the last 11 years in and out of prison.
During his various breaks from incarceration- he has reached out to me. He would call me from different numbers and has even shown up at my home….”just to say hi” or let me know “ I’ve changed and am getting my life back on track”. Each time he asks for money. It’s extremely uncomfortable and awkward as he is not a teenager anymore he is a grown man.
I gave him a few bucks on two occasions ( I know- I should have not done that but I thought it would make him go away), the last time making it known that I would not do it again.
Several years ago he was incarcerated and I am embarrassed to say I was very relieved. I dreaded the day he would be released because I knew it would mean he will try to reach out again.
Well he must have just got released because I answered a local number thinking it was a doctor’s office I have been waiting to hear from and it was him. Same story. Getting his life together. But he wants to meet in person because he needs some legal advice and the details - for whatever reason- have to be shared in person. He sounded a bit off. I could hear another person whispering in the background.
I was honest and told him that I did not want to meet in person and anything he wants to say can be said over the phone. I also told him that I have no money to give and that if he is looking for money he needs to go elsewhere he said that not the case. That he just wants my advice.
I told him I was unavailable to meet.
I don’t want to think the worst about anyone. I found him very endearing as a 17 year old - although troubled with a poor upbringing
and an inability to shake the culture that he was brought up in. I tried to help him back then, But failed.
Now he is a 30 year old man and I would be lying if I said that him reaching out to me whenever he is released, scares me. On top of that, I feel Badly for feeling this way.
Has anyone ever dealt with such a situation?