u/Original_Sherbet_523

I’m an anthropology major set to graduate in 2027 with my BA in anthropology and a minor in Spanish. I want to do a MD-PhD dual degree in anthro and do humanitarian medicine and ethnography.

I am interested in dual power approaches to medicine (cultural competency building in Biomedicine while also meaning-making and culture-building*). I want to do fieldwork in South America and the Caribbean and would also like to be pan-African in my approach by not just exploring the Afro-Latin diaspora but the African continent as well.

Considering this, should I pursue Portuguese or French as a third language? I know that Brazil/Brazilian academia has become a more significant funder of the social sciences compared to the declining interest of the West and United States. That being said, the overwhelming number of Francophone countries in Africa may mean more opportunity in those countries.*

Endnote:

1. I say culture-building as a way to separate it from this racist, western idea of cultural “development” or “progress” which assumes linearity.

2. I would love to say where I want to work but, as is the case in most jobs and especially with anthropology, most often you can only do research where the funding is. I wish things were differently.

I busted my ass trying to get an internship at a hospital.

I should have known something was up when at orientation all the other new hires had parents who were physicians at the hospital and gloated about horseback riding, having houses in costa rica, and flexing their new phones. (One girl I know was shadowing her own dad).

I got hired as an intern in the surgical oncology department and the doctor I’m shadowing doesn’t work with patients at all. He spends his entire day filing papers and having meetings about when to meet next. I don’t hold it against him personally though, as it’s the bureaucratic bullshittification of a real job (cancer surgeon).

I thought this would be a chance to get clinical experience but I spend most of my days stapling papers or looking busy. I feel awful, some of the people I work with have kids and I feel guilty for making money doing (essentially) nothing.

I just bought my first car (05’ element with 175k miles)I want to keep it for at most another 125k miles, but it has some issues.

VTEC solenoid gasket needs to be replaced, there is no drive-shaft, and the steering-wheel is misaligned. I live in a flat area with no hills and want to get good gas mileage out of it, so I don’t see a need to install one. I feel confident that I can replace the gasket. I want to take it to the shop for the alignment.

What does Reddit think I should do? 🤔

I come from a LATAM family and so I live in a three generation household of six. This time last year (after dating since January 12th, 2025) my girlfriend (21F) moved in with us. While she has (barely) tried to find a job, she always has some excuse as to why she cannot get one. We are both in college and so understand that both of us are very busy, but I still work part-time to help pay bills. Secondly, (important part) I almost single-handedly take up all the responsibility for the household chores.

My whole family (including myself) used to get mad at her for not participating as much and while they still do I no longer am as of today. While I've realized that my gf has learned-helplessness for a long time now, rather than teaching her how to lift herself up I have been enabling her. I like doing all the household chores, paying for her food, cooking, buying her clothes/shoes, and being the "adult in the relationship." In reality, I enable her dependent behavior and get to feel like the "good guy" while simultaneously ruining the relationship.

My girlfriend absolutely can change and in the past couple of months has made progress, only, I subconsciously lament this fact. If she can change, then I have to put in the effort to build a more sustainable relationship in the long-term. In reality, I am far from the "adult in the relationship" because my reluctance to help her become a more independent person honestly just comes from impatience, selfishness, and laziness.

I believe that I love my girlfriend. I've never felt this way about someone in my entire life. On the other hand, I wonder if I can really say that I love her if I'd rather sabotage my relationship than put in the effort to make it a stable one in the long term.

(TLDR: I am enabling my girlfriend's learned helplessness because I would rather ruin our relationship -but preserve my ego- than reckon with the fact that I am selfish and work through that together)

(Note: what I feel and what I do is different than what I know to be moral. Snide comments about me having a superiority complex or being a POS don't help.)