Has anyone left someone they still loved because the relationship became unhealthy?
I moved into my own place after leaving my partner of over three years and tonight I feel absolutely heartbroken.
I still love him. That’s probably the hardest part.
We didn’t break up because the love disappeared. We broke up because our relationship had become unhealthy. There had been so much arguing, resentment, hurt, poor communication and emotional reactivity from both of us. I got to a point where I knew something had to change because neither of us seemed capable of changing the dynamic while we were still living in it.
So I moved out.
We’re planning on having a period of no contact once everything with our shared house is sorted. We’re technically single, but we’ve also talked about using this time to work on ourselves and not immediately move on from each other.
Part of me feels strong and knows I needed to do this.
Then there are nights like tonight.
I’m sitting in my new home and I have this horrible deep sadness that I can physically feel in my throat. I miss him. I miss our home. I miss having my person there. And more than anything, I think I’m grieving what I wanted our relationship to become.
It’s such a strange feeling knowing you can love somebody deeply and still know that the relationship you had with them wasn’t okay anymore.
Has anyone else walked away while they were still completely in love?
How did you cope with those first nights alone?
And did the space eventually give you clarity about whether you actually wanted the person back, or whether you were grieving the life and familiarity you had with them?