u/Outrageous_Law_8747

mu bf and I have been together a few months now. Being tickled has always turned me on and I love it. I told him it turned me on but I had to write it on my notes app and show him then go to bed. He still tickles me but we never talked about it. This has been an ongoing thing since I was younger. I’ve been tied down and tickled by exs in the past, but since he’s older I’m scared to tell him that I wanna be tied down and tickled because I fear he will think it’s weird or childish since he doesn’t like being tickled. I can’t even say the word fetish out loud without cringing I’m just such an overthinker and anxious person. Even the word tickle is hard for me to say. But I want this so badly, I’m just scared he will think I’m weird and I don’t even know how to word it.

Me (F22) and bf (M24) have been together for almost 5 months now. We have the same humor, same values and outlook on the future, but he isn’t super affectionate. Maybe that’s the wrong term but I need deeper intimacy and he’s just not really like that. I call myself a “lover girl and hopeless romantic so it’s hard to draw the line between being what people see as realistic and just being myself. I also have a lot of anxiety and I’m scared of being too much.

Like we cuddle but I wish he would just look at me and caress my face and stare at me and tell me how beautiful I am. I’ve seen him being super affectionate before but only when he’s drunk so it’s hard to go back to reality on days we don’t go out.

I wish he would kiss my forehead or do little intimate things. I always have to ask for back scratches and it’ll only be for like a minute.

He usually watches tv while we eat and I value quality time and talking. Or like when we’re laying together I wish we could just have deep convos but he goes on his phone.

Those card games have been helpful which I like but I wish he could be natural.

I know he loves me and he would do a lot for me, but I really crave intimacy and romance.

Like just because messages, sharing music, planned dates, telling me how beautiful I am randomly, someone who’s more gentle, I feel like he’s very nonchalant and that’s great but I need someone who’s softens up a little.

And we’ve talked about it and I know it’ll take time, he’s very open minded but it’s hard not to overthink while being patient. I know he wants to try and he said it’ll just take some time because he’s not use to it and I understand.

I’m very affectionate. I love the cringey stuff and romance. I love writing little notes and pouring my heart out when I’m in a relationship, I love closeness, things like cooking breakfast together, stargazing (cringe maybe but I love). Idk

Any advice on working on this together? Little things we can do? I want to help.

Yes I went down the spiral of other similar posts and I know people will say “leave,” but right now I’m genuinely asking for ways to ease into it with him and how to be supportive because it’s deep rooted. I know how much he cares, but i think it’s just hard for him to be vulnerable.