u/Outside-Chemistry863

I know it doesn't sounds like a big deal.

The main problem is we are just married (3 weeks ago), and my MIL just told my husband they are going to Europe in 2 weeks for 3 weeks with her other son and his wife, plane tickets already bought and all. She asked him if he could take care of the dogs (2), especially one, her favorite one, it's a yorkshire terrier. That one, lives inside the house, so she wanted us to take him to our apartment, knowing pretty damn well that we are not allowed to have pets there. My husband reminded her of that detail, so we needed to ask for and especial permission to our landlord(my cousin). She said to let her know what she said. (I feel like she thought my cousin would say yes just because we are family). But, oh surprise, she said no. Why? Because there are other 7 apartments, and no one is allowed to have pets, she cannot make an exception with us cause if our neighbours notice, they might want a pet too.

So, my husband told her mother we weren't able to take the dog to the apartment. But that he will go to their house every second day to check on the dogs.

The other dog is bigger and lives outside in the backyard, he has a food and water dispenser. So he suggested to do the same with the yorkie.

She didn't talked to her son for days, until yesterday. She called him and told him that she would like him to go everyday and stay 3-4 hours with her dog (the yorkshire) that she would pay him for the gas and an extra for doing that.

It is worth mentioning that my in-laws home is 1 hour away from ours and we live in a city were the FIFA world cup is taking place, they live close to the airport so traffic is horrible there right now. It'll probably take almost 2 hours to get there. And we cannot stay there because they are making some repairs to the water pipes, so there's no water at their house. Also, we only have one car so my husband drops me of at work and then picks me up when i get off, he does home office, but of course he has a work schedule. So i don't understand how does she expects him to go and stay there for hours.

Plus, we are just married, we are just adjusting to life together and all the responsabilities that come with being married and independent.

I don't know if i'm overreacting but this kind of stuff that my inlaws do piss me off.

If we lived closer or the situation was better, we would happily go everyday but as it is it is kind difficult.

So i told my husband to stand firm on going every second day. And told him why his parents didn't ask another family member to take care of the yorkie. And.. what he did us call a cousin to ask her to do it. She said yes. But it pisses me off that he solved the problem for them. He doesn't seem to notice that if continues to do that they are going to continue relying on him to resolve their matters.

My fiancé (M28) and i (F27) have been together for 7 years and a half.

We began talking about marriage like 3 years ago, planning when would be the right time. (For context: We are both architects, and in our country there aren't many well-paid jobs in this field. This plus some health problems i went through, we were not in the best economic/profesional position. So we have been saving up little by little.) And finally, in a week, we are getting married.

Since my future MIL and FIL heard we were planning on getting married, they told my fiancé we could live with them for the first 2-3 years of our marriage, so we could save more money for our future together. My fiancé did find this offer appealing and talked to me. My answer was NO. I explained my view to him. Basically, that I believed that it was important for a newly wed couple to live in their own space, that it was very important so that we could have intimacy and freedom to build our own family values, without the interference of our families of origin. I told him i thought it was a very bad idea, since i knew his parents were not going to be able to avoid getting involved in our lives.

He thought about it and agreed with me. Told his parents no thank you. This was like 2 years ago.

We got engaged 1 year and a half ago. The subject was not brought up again. Until a couple of days ago, when the idea came back to my MIL's mind, because we found were to live. It's an apartment, it belongs to my cousin and she us willing to rent it to us for a low price. The thing is the it has a few minor issues, but it has everything we need to live. My future MIL saw the apartament and aparrently didn't like it for her son.

So she decided it was a "wonderful" idea to call me in me in my lunchtime at work to make the best offer she could think about... For us to live with them.

What annoys me more is the way she said it, like she was a sellsman trying to convince me to buy the best product in the world. She told she and her husband were not at peace with the place we were going to live in and that of course they were grateful with my cousin that was willing to rent us her place but that they considered it was best to reject the offer (we had already moved a couple of our thing to the apartament) and come live with them so that we could spend as little money as possible, so that we could buy a house in 2 years. That we would have our own bedroom and bathroom, that we were free to buy our food and use their refrigerator and kitchen to cook our food cause she and her husband don't cook much and don't like to eat a lot of things that we do, and blah blah blah. That they would like to have a meeting with me and her son so that we could talk and reach some agreements.

I was furious that she felt she had a saying in the decisions my fiancé and i have made. I held it in as best as i could, and just told her that would think about it and talk about it with her son.

When i hung up the call with her, i immediately called my fiancé. Told him i wanted no meeting with his parents, that the decision was already made, and it was up to him to deal with his parents, tell them no and set boundaries.

He did. Called me back to tell me that his parents told him that we were missing a good chance to make our future easier but if we wanted to struggle and see how hard life was for our own, to go ahead and they would not meddle in our lives anymore. (Not true, but they swore)

It just gets in my nerves the way they say thing and the way they are. I just know they wanted us to live with them so that they didn't feel an empty nest (their eldest son moved almost a year ago), and that is the bigger issue of all, they don't want to let their son grow. If we lived with them i just know they would continue to try and control their son as if he was a little kid and i wouldn't have my place as wife.

Parents like this scare me. HE IS 28 YEARS OLD FOR GOD'S SAKE. LET HIM GROW. ( i wanna scream to their faces lol)