u/Outside-Value-8778

So the idea of proprioception is how the body calculates and positions the self in correlation to the external world. Then I read two things which are quite intriguing,

'The proprioceptive system can be a good tool for calming, organising and self-regulating the brain and nervous system. Proprioception is essential for maintaining a level of alertness and as a result can impact positively on levels of attention and learning.'

'Social Proprioception is also a common analogy. Just like physical proprioception is the brain's inability to judge physical distance and force (leading to bumping into furniture), a lack of social proprioception means the brain struggles to judge emotional distance, conversational weight, and the impact of words'

Seemingly the weakness of proprioception also negatively impact one's attention, emotions, calmness, emotional distance with another person. Wonder if deficits in proprioception and socio-proprioception have a common cause?

Ex is dx female in her 40s. She is very clumsy and can bump her head, twist her ankle regularly. So the idea of proprioception is how the body calculates and positions the self in correlation to the external world. Then I read two things which are quite intriguing,

'The proprioceptive system can be a good tool for calming, organising and self-regulating the brain and nervous system. Proprioception is essential for maintaining a level of alertness and as a result can impact positively on levels of attention and learning.'

'Social Proprioception is also a common analogy. Just like physical proprioception is the brain's inability to judge physical distance and force (leading to bumping into furniture), a lack of social proprioception means the brain struggles to judge emotional distance, conversational weight, and the impact of words'

Seemingly the weakness of her proprioception also negatively impact her attention, emotions, calmness, emotional distance with another person. This makes a lot of sense.

ADHD Dx ex (42 female untreated) was diagnosed in her late 30s. What I found interesting is that she soaked up all the 'positives' of how the internet celebrates her neurodivergence, she would regularly say things like she has 'superpower', deep inside she is kind and gentle, she is smart and creative.

I don't know how much she was trying to comfort herself from repeating these, but it seemingly became her way to mask her outward interaction with the world. In reality, she constantly get fired at work, living with her parents like a teenager, impulsive and violent at times, and she is a phone addict on mundane contents. In some sense, her diagnosis plus some 'over-celebration' of the condition on the internet, only makes her more detached and feel-good inside, when the world around her crumbles.

Dx ex (42 female untreated) was diagnosed in her late 30s. What I found interesting is that she soaked up all the 'positives' of how the internet celebrates her neurodivergence, she would regularly say things like she has 'superpower', deep inside she is kind and gentle, she is smart and creative.

I don't know how much she was trying to comfort herself from repeating these adjectives, but it seemingly became her way to mask her outward interaction with the world. In reality, she constantly get fired at work, living with her parents like a teenager, impulsive and violent at times, and she is a phone addict on mundane contents. In some sense, her diagnosis plus some 'over-celebration' of the condition on the internet, only makes her more detached and feel-good inside, when the world around her crumbles.

DX F untreated partner mentioned she does not like hugging or kissing or cuddling, I read that in some ADHDer these acts can trigger cortisol instead of oxytocin. Sometimes I would request for a kiss, and she would allow me, and then quickly wipe her lips. I do understand she doesn't like it due to her neurological differences, but deep down I'm profoundly sad. How can we find a middle ground?

DX F untreated partner keep buying things for me and my cat, including things that my place don't really have room for, things my cat doesn't need, and things I don't even like. When I suggest stop buying those stuff she felt like her love language has been slammed, have you experience that? What to do?

Dx partner (F 42) was on vyvanse three years ago but had pretty strong side-effect. Perhaps because of the bad experience, she avoids any conversation regarding any kind of professional help. I know it's different for everyone, but I wonder what was the one thing that made you or your partner start going to doctor/therapist/coach/counsellor?

Partner (dx unmedicated F 42) does not respond like a NT person, but usually I can get her attention when I got angry. This is so wrong and exhausting. Do you have that? How did you navigate out of this vicious cycle?

Partner (ADHD dx unmedicated 42 F) and I are (on and off) together for almost four years. With such turbulence. This year or so I developed a habit of outsourcing some of my social bonding needs to a several female friends that I'm really close with. If I have something would like to share, or want some one to talk to in general, my partner is not the first person I would think of.

They know I have a dx partner, and I have record of depression (dx), and are very caring and supportive. Truthfully, sometimes I would have feelings for them because we gotten quite close, but I just let it dies down eventually. And I often feel guilty I 'outsource' some needs towards them when my partner can't deliver. Occasionally I would question myself what is the point of all this, why am I with my partner when some other people are just more compatible.

I don't think this is healthy.

Partner (dx, unmedicated, F, 42) and I are together for almost four years. As title suggests, I have this constant feeling of loneliness.