20 years later I still am triggered
20 years ago on 7/2/06 my now ex-husband went into a rage over something trivial and I left (there had been years of mostly emotional abuse but some physical as well). he convinced me to come back to talk. instead he got me alone and attacked me. the most profound part of the attack was he strangled me repeatedly. I was blacking out and thought I was going to die. when he stopped and went for a drive, i called my SIL and she drove me to a shelter with my daughter. long story short, he did all the right things (therapy, meds, anger management) and i went back. he was never physical again but the psychological and emotional abuse and erratic behavior returned. I finally left 3 years ago. but here I am, safe at home and suddenly crying in my basement and hyperventilating (the attack happened in the base of my old house) because a random song triggered me. I’ve been to therapy and emdr for years. I’m feeling hopeless that I will ever feel normal again.