u/Overthinkqueen_

My boyfriend (25 M) and I (20 F) have been together for 7 months and we're currently in a long-distance relationship.

Before he met me, he was in a 3-year LDR with his ex. They never met in person. She was from a different religion, and after trying to convince his family for a long time, he decided to end the relationship because his family wouldn't accept it. According to him, the relationship was over from his side before he met me, but he was still trying to get closure and they remained in contact.

After he got into a relationship with me, they had one or two conversations where she was emotionally breaking down. During those conversations, she told him she loved him, and he replied, "I love you too." He admits this happened and says he said it because she was crying and he felt bad for her. He agrees it was wrong.

Recently, my boyfriend came to visit me in my state. His ex happens to live relatively close to my state. Before he came to visit me, he and his ex had a conversation where she was saying she still loved him and wanted him back, while he was apologizing and telling her that he could not continue being emotionally involved with her and that he could not give her the relationship she wanted. He had moved on so should she . And that he's dating me. I only saw those messages later, after he had already visited me.

A few days later, my boyfriend's sister-in-law posted a photo of us together on social media. The ex saw it. My boyfriend and his ex then had another conversation, and he decided to meet her in person to end things face-to-face. This was their first-ever in-person meeting after 3 years of an online relationship.

The problem is that he didn't tell me about this meeting beforehand and wasn't planning to tell me because he thought it would hurt me. I eventually found out after he returned. A lot of drama followed. I informed both families. The ex wanted to speak with me, so we talked.

According to the ex, their relationship wasn't completely over when he started dating me, although she agreed that he had been trying to end things. She also confirmed that the purpose of the meeting was to end things in person.

My boyfriend now says he understands how badly this affected my trust and promises that he won't do anything involving her or any similar situation without informing me first.

What makes this difficult is that, aside from this issue, he has genuinely been the healthiest and kindest partner I've ever had. Both my family and his family know about everything and are encouraging me to give him another chance because they believe he's being genuine.

My trust is definitely shaken. I'm not sure whether this counts as cheating, emotional cheating, poor boundaries, dishonesty, or just a messy breakup that should have been completed before he entered a new relationship.

If you were in my position, would you stay and try to rebuild trust, or would this be a dealbreaker ??

Tldr - same as title.