u/Own-Doctor9027

My ex (18M) and I (17F) broke up a while ago because of his mental health and life circumstances, not because we stopped loving each other or because the relationship was toxic.

Ever since then, things have just become… confusing.

We still call sometimes, and now every Tuesday during our shared study period at school, he drives us back to either his place or mine so we can hang out privately for a bit before going back to class.

Sometimes we have sex, sometimes we just cuddle and talk. It honestly depends on the day. But regardless, it never really feels casual.

Like he still acts really caring towards me. He worries about me, comforts me when I’m upset, kisses me goodbye, buys me food after our hangout and we still have a lot of emotional intimacy too.

But we still aren’t together.

That’s the weird part.

I know situationships with exes are usually a terrible idea, but this doesn’t even fully feel like that either because there’s still a lot of genuine care and emotional connection involved.

Has anyone else experienced this weird in-between stage with an ex where you basically become emotionally and physically close again without officially getting back together?

Did it eventually turn back into a relationship, or did it just end up making things harder?

Any advice helps x

My ex (18M) and I (17F) broke up a little while ago because of his mental health and everything going on in his life. It wasn’t because we stopped loving each other or because the relationship was toxic.

Since the breakup, things have been really complicated. We tried no contact for a while, but eventually started talking again after he reached out to me late one night because he was struggling mentally.

Since then, we’ve gotten really close again. The other night we called and he told me that what he felt with me couldn’t be replicated with anyone else. He said he could do the exact same things with another person and it still wouldn’t feel the same.

Then on Tuesday we saw each other during a free period at school. He drove me to my house, we cuddled, kissed, had sex, then afterwards he drove me to McDonald’s, bought me a sundae, and drove me back to school for class.

But the thing is… it didn’t feel casual at all.

The whole time he was really affectionate and caring. At one point I got emotional about school and life stuff and he comforted me, told me everything was going to be okay, called me a “sweet angel,” and before I got out of the car we kissed goodbye like an actual couple.

But technically… we still aren’t together.

A few days before all this, we did something similar but there was no sex involved. So two hangouts in the past week. Except after the first time, he told me he needed time to “gather his thoughts”, to which he later just said because his mind was blurry in that moment and he never said what it was he was thinking about.

So now I feel confused because emotionally, this feels like a relationship again, but there’s still no actual label or conversation about what we are.

Has anyone else experienced this weird in-between stage with an ex where you clearly still love each other and basically act like a couple again, but neither of you knows what’s actually happening yet?

So, for context, my ex and I dated for a few months before we broke up a little over a month ago. It was a really healthy relationship and a really healthy breakup. We just decided it was for the best because we were both starting to grapple with mental health issues. (Him with early stage schizophrenia and me with depression.)

Recently, however, my ex reached out just wanting to talk, saying that he needed someone to talk to. We called each other and he said some really lovely things.

He said that one thing he learnt by being apart from me was that what he felt with me couldn't be replicated with anyone else. He could do the same things that we did with someone else, but it wouldn't be the same

Then he also said that he'd give up a whole year of his life if it meant he could spend one more day hugging me and sleeping in the same bed as me.

One thing he asked me, though, is if I could see us getting back together. To which I replied, "I dont know." And his response was that personally, he wants to. it's just a matter of his mental state and his issues he's currently dealing with.

We called for a few nights in a row, and then we decided that I'd go over to his house so we could reconnect. We agreed we'd hug, kiss, make out, and it wouldn't mean that we're back together.

But when it actually came to being with him at his house, it was literally like we were back in a relationship. We laid in bed together and talked. He held me in his arms, we made out, kissed, and got a bit frisky... no full on sex though.

And then, at the end, when it was time for me to leave, he said, "Just give me a while, I need to gather my thoughts." It's been two days and I havent heard from him yet. How long should I give him before saying something? And what should I even say?

Because we agreed to make it a regular thing where I could go to his house and do what we did but not be official. And now he's saying he has to think? It just confuses me because I know he enjoyed himself.

So, for context, my ex and I dated for a few months before we broke up a little over a month ago. It was a really healthy relationship and a really healthy breakup. We just decided it was for the best because we were both starting to grapple with mental health issues. (Him with early stage schizophrenia and me with depression.)

Recently, however, my ex reached out just wanting to talk, saying that he needed someone to talk to. We called each other and he said some really lovely things.

He said that one thing he learnt by being apart from me was that what he felt with me couldn't be replicated with anyone else. He could do the same things that we did with someone else, but it wouldn't be the same

Then he also said that he'd give up a whole year of his life if it meant he could spend one more day hugging me and sleeping in the same bed as me.

One thing he asked me, though, is if I could see us getting back together. To which I replied, "I dont know." And his response was that personally, he wants to. it's just a matter of his mental state and his issues he's currently dealing with.

We called for a few nights in a row, and then we decided that I'd go over to his house so we could reconnect. We agreed we'd hug, kiss, make out, and it wouldn't mean that we're back together.

But when it actually came to being with him at his house, it was literally like we were back in a relationship. We laid in bed together and talked. He held me in his arms, we made out, kissed, and got a bit frisky... no full on sex though.

And then, at the end, when it was time for me to leave, he said, "Just give me a while, I need to gather my thoughts." It's been two days and I havent heard from him yet. How long should I give him before saying something? And what should I even say?

Because we agreed to make it a regular thing where I could go to his house and do what we did but not be official. And now he's saying he has to think? It just confuses me because I know he enjoyed himself.

My ex and I broke up recently, and I’m really struggling with how to handle things. We didn’t break up because of lost feelings or anything toxic. It was mainly because of our mental health. Both of us were struggling, and neither of us could help the other.

My ex got diagnosed with early stage schizophrenia. He told me he feels like he “lives in misery and that spreads,” and didn’t want to drag me down. Around the same time, he opened up about a lot — almost doing drugs because of pressure from his dad, feeling like he’s going to “break” one day, and feeling like he’s going crazy.

For me I was diagnosed with depression but have since gone on medication and feel a lot stronger mentally. My ex has gone on medication too, but hes still struggling.

We had a long talk and decided to break up because he didn’t want me waiting around while he tries to get better, especially since there’s no clear timeline with something like that. It was really hard because we still cared about each other a lot.

After we broke up, we tried to stay friends, but it didn’t really work because we almost became fwb and it was clear our feeling were just too strong. So we ended up going no contact.

Then recently, he messaged me late at night saying that he needs someone to talk to. Here are the texts:

Me: “Im so sorry i was asleep. Can talk today tho if u still need it.”

Him: “Im just going through a lot right now and feel powerless to do anything about it. Im alright tho, no need to worry too much.”

Me: “Bruh you messaged me at 12am obviously im going to worry. Do you have work tn?”

Him: “No, its fine. Just my parents are going through eachother and im just worried about them. Im fine, just feeling really tired and stressed about them.”

Me: “Im going to call you later you dont have a choice.”

Him: “I dont think you need to. Im sorry I got you worried but im fine, just trying to hold something together.”

Me: “Even if you're fine you need to accept help when its offered to you. And sure I might not need to but I want to.”

Him: “I know you're worried and im sorry I just blindsided you with that text.”

Me: “You dont need to apologise. I'd rather you reach out than deal with shit alone.”

I try call him, he doesn't answer

Him: “Nah, not your job to worry about me. I can do this.”

Me: “Stubborn.”

Him: “I dont want to be stubborn. Im just very aware of the implications of what i may say. It's very serious.”

Me: “Well are you getting help?”

Him: “Im not going to wellbeing.”

Me: “There are other options. I just think its bullshit if you keep trying to get through stuff by yourself. You dont deserve that.”

Him: “I just dont trust anyone. It's really hard for me to deal with this because i dont even trust myself.”

Me: “If you dont even trust yourself how do you expect to deal with it by yourself?”

Him: “I dont know. I feel sick.”

Me: “Look, you're going to be okay. And im here for you even if you dont want me to be.”

Him: “Im being unreasonable.”

Me: “Wdym?”

Him: “I asked for help that I reject.”

Me: “You can get help from me. You dont have to reject it. Im stronger now.”

Him: “I really want to have help. But i will be physically sick if I pick up the phone. Im literally feeling ill from this.”

Me: “You're okay, just focus on calming yourself down. It's obviously hard for you rn, we can talk another time.”

Him: “Yes please. Everything is just too raw for me right now.”

Me: “Thats okay. Call me whenever you're ready to talk.”

I'm a bit worried because hes had past dark thoughts and I feel like thats what's going on with him rn. That, or hes done drugs. I know him very well, and I can tell that he finds it very hard to get support because he feels like a burden and with me especially he doesn't want to bring me down.

So many people have said to me that its not my problem, but he doesn't have anyone else. And I feel like im in a strong enough state to offer him some support, and not let it consume me.

But yeah im just not really sure what to do or what to think.

My ex (18M) and I (17F) broke up recently due to his mental health and life circumstances, not because we stopped caring about each other. We’ve been mostly no contact because staying close was causing pain and confusion for both of us.

Last night, he messaged me at around midnight saying he needed someone to talk to and asked if I was awake. I didn’t see it until the morning, but I replied and said I could talk if he still needed it.

He told me he’s going through a lot right now and feels powerless, but also said he’s “alright” and that I don’t need to worry too much. I replied by saying "bruh you messaged me at 12am, obviously im going to worry".

He responded by saying its just about his parents and that they're going at eachother a bit, but that he was fine. And I said that i was gonna call him and that he didnt have a choice. But then he said "I dont think you need to. Im sorry i got you worried but im fine. Just trying to hold something together."

The last thing I said was "Even if you're fine, you need to accept help when its offered to you. And sure i might not need to, but I want to."

I just dont understand why he reached out and then pulled away again. I can tell he doesn't want to be a burden but how do I get him to open up. I just dont know what to think so I need advice.