u/Own-Sheepherder-923

Hey everyone! A few friends and I have been cooking up something special behind the scenes, and we are incredibly hyped to finally show you a sneak peek. Say hello to the official opening intro for Black Lagoon Abridged! We are completely reimagining the Lagoon Company not as gritty, philosophical underworld mercenaries, but as a hyper-dysfunctional, toxic corporate workspace from hell. Think The Office meets Workaholics, but on a heavily armed torpedo boat where human resources doesn't exist. Our scriptwriter officially started grinding out the scripts this weekend, and our locked-in voice cast is ready to record. Here is a quick look at the dynamic we're bringing: Revy is a foul-mouthed, manic gremlin whose voice is completely shredded from premium black-market cigarettes. Expect plenty of mic-peaking screeches and random smoker’s coughs mid-threat. Rock is a traumatized corporate narc desperately clutching a wooden clipboard like a bulletproof shield, crying about his 401k and tax write-offs mid-firefight. Dutch is the ultimate "quiet-quitted" manager who reads the broadsheet newspaper during active rocket fire and tells everyone to "put it in an email." Benny is a hyper-elitist tech-bro trying to sell terrible cryptocurrency scams to hardened criminals off a pyramid of 90s server racks.

We are aiming for a highly focused run to adapt the story, and we can’t wait to share Episode 1 with you all soon. Let us know what you think of the intro, and drop your favorite headcanons or workplace compliance jokes below!

Cheers,

MochiDubzVA