u/PKFreezing

Hi there Im recently getting back into the dating scene and Im having a lot of issues confidence wise. Im 29 (TF) and I've had a lot of issues getting to where I want in life. An abusive relationship not only took my late teens and most of my 20s but she also made me drop out of school so I never got my physics degree and cant really go back on my own in this economy. I was a chef for a while but due to health issues thats not a sustainable career path for me so Ive had to give it up.

Its not like Ive got nothing going on but my own disability issues and familial health problems put life on hold once I got out of my hell situation for a bit and this past year Ive really started making a lot of progress with my health and life. Im starting soon at Starbucks which I know isnt glamorous but not only will they cover my bottom surgery they also pay for you to get your bachelors so Ill be able to get an IT/CS degree and restart a genuine career for myself.

I guess I just need advice navigating this, I love talking to women my age who have made progress on their own life path's and I know lifes a different pace for everyone but I really feel sad when the best I can say is Ive run a few kitchens and done some recipe development but then I was disabled for a couple of years. Trying not to feel like too much of a fuckup but I just think about all the ways life would be different if a bunch of years werent thrown away.

​

Hi there, my partner and I (both women and Im lesbian if thats relevant) have decided to shift into polyamory/polyfidelity and I feel like the situation is kind of weird. We've been having issues the past few years due to her being Ace when I'm allo and things have recently reached a breaking point to the point that the relationship almost ended over that incompatibility after years of no intimacy.

After a lot of discussion/therapy/tears we've decided that we still want to be together so to try to make things work we're trying nonmonogamy. Ideally we're hoping to meet someone we love enough to form into a triad with or alternatively a V where my partners would be friends, both of those would be closed setups. I know immediately this probably raises red flags because using poly to try to sustain a relationship isnt ideal and neither is going into it with specific structures in mind but honestly theyre just the only things I think I would be able to handle (Im the one who's more hesitant/resistant about poly despite being the one who would more 'benefit' from it, my partner is fully on board).

I'm just looking for any advice/suggested reading on how to approach this healthily, especially when I'm going to be the one initially meeting any potential partners. The last thing I want is to pressure someone into something theyre not absolutely happy with or anything like that. If Im going to make this work I want to make sure I elevate both of the women I end up with and make them happy, secure and loved.