u/Pale_Transition_9148

My parents (mid 40s) moved to Florida for a multitude of reasons a couple of years ago. I’m in my early twenties and live in ny. Only one of them works and is barely making ends meet, the other hasn’t really worked in a couple of years and neither has a degree. They used to have a large income in 2016 but never bought a house or saved it. They still dream of a house but I’m honestly not even aware of the extent of their financial situation because never communicate clearly & always give vague ideas of “things will get better it’s just a rough patch”. I keep telling them that not letting me know what is happening is causing me more stress and one of parents recently had a major health scare. It ended up working out after I paid for a surgery, and afterwards I told them that I need them to have a plan for the future or I would have to consider cutting them out of my life for my sanity and wellbeing. They agreed to work together regarding financials but they never followed up and I refuse to being the one continuing to push them into conversations I don’t even want to have. I don’t even want them back in ny anymore I just want them nearby in case something happens. NJ, PA, Baltimore, Maryland, CT, etc. They have no retirement savings or plans, unpaid credit card debt, and struggle to meet rent as it is. Despite this, they feed the stray cats outside because they are very kind people and I love who they are and have been a life line for me when I was younger.

They have one car that keeps breaking down every 2-6months and I just paid for the last repair. They didn’t tell me about this current breakdown, I heard it from another family member. Im so heartbroken they keep choosing to stay in another state with no family, struggle, and then feel scared to ask me for help. I pay within my limits, get told I’ll be paid back, tell them I never expect it and to just please make changes and nothing happens, they stop telling me stuff, I stop reaching out, and now they only tell me when they’re on deaths doorstep. This health scare was the last straw for me. I’m really considering saying “Move Closer And Figure Out A Plan or You’ll Never See Me Again” in August. I love my parents so deeply and it hurts to hear them struggle. I dread having to cut them out but I don’t think there is anything else I can do to help them financially, especially when they know they have a support system if come back and admit they desperately need help. It feels like they keep refusing to choose a life with me and a stabler one at that. It has to be pride. They don’t want to admit they didn’t succeed in moving. I really don’t know. Is there anyway I could help them or do I really need to find out if I’m not worth coming back for?

Edit: Sincerely, thank you to all who took the time to reply and share their thoughts. The different perspectives help, overall I do agree if they wanted to change things they have the time and ability within their will and lifetime. My bio-mom treated me very poorly when I was younger and my parents had really taken care of me, it’s hard to feel like they aren’t being Parents to me anymore. I’ve been taking care of myself for a very long time (currently early 20s, moving in with partner soon, good career that allows me to be financially independent) so my parents say aren’t worried about me at all but somehow, it turned to me being worried about them. I am definitely taking it personally and trying to take too much responsibility, stepping back is probably the best bet. I’ll have to make it work, I guess that’s just life. On the plus side my two lovely cat babies are waiting inside for their dinner. Win some lose some 🥹
I’m genuinely unsure if Reddit-ettique is to reply to everyone but I just got home from a 12hr shift. So, thank you again.

Hello! This is a bit of a troubling situation, and I’m hoping for advice regarding the financial pros/cons of owning a condo however I will be sharing the cause of why I want to in order to avoid future potential confusion or debate.
My parents (mid 40s) have been struggling financially for years and have absolutely no retirement or investments. They currently live out of state and dread moving back to NYC where they have some family with good relationships, family with very bad relationships, and could make more money. Recently, one of them had a health scare has caused me significant anxiety. They refuse to talk finances with me and I will not continue reaching out to help with getting their finances in order. I have (mostly) made peace with the fact that they will continue to live this lifestyle and may not ever have concrete plans financially, especially if they refuse to make changes and accept help. However, I am considering cutting them out of my life entirely for my sanity because the anxiety and stress of not knowing how they are doing is killing me. I really don’t want to but it’s incredibly painful to continue begging them to move back and telling them that I need them to be ok. They are the only family members I truly trust. My final attempt will essentially be an in person sit down conversation “Move Closer to NY (NJ/PA/MD) or I Will Never Be In Your Lives Again”.
I am willing to, and believe I am financial able to, afford purchasing a condo in these states as well as the Bronx, Brooklyn, or Queens. I (20yo) have a 403b, Roth IRA, and brokerage account with over 50k in stocks. I have full faith I can save and invest for myself to secure my own future. I don’t want to pay for their retirement or worry about their wellbeing for the remainder of my life. At least for my wellbeing I will know that their monthly payments would be significantly more affordable, they are closer to family that can help in emergencies than where they live now, and that they could potentially begin rebuilding their savings. I worry this is an emotional idea over a logical one but I figure the peace of mind is 1000% worth it and if they figure their shit out, I’ll have a condo I can move to or sell in the future on top of my own property. Sorry this is a lot, and I’m not sure if this is the right sub. Any advice regarding the financials of owning a condo (the emotional end not so much but it’s appreciated) would be great! Thank you :)

Hello! My partner and I (both 20yrs) are looking to move out for the first time to Queens mid-summer/early fall. Our budget is 2k monthly for the two of us, maybe 2.4k if we can get a friend to move in with us.
I am familiar specific areas in Astoria, Steinway, sunnyside, woodside, elmhurst, flushing, Whitestone, bayside, and Saint Albans as my family moved a lot. However, I am not as familiar with these neighborhoods now nor the transit. We both have cars but are willing to forgo them if it’s cheaper and works for our commutes; this will be decided closer to the move-in itself. I am more familiar with driving, LIRR, and the occasional bus over the subways/MTA.
We don’t have interest in night/social life and prioritize functionality over aesthetics. Easy access to the city/bronx/rest of queens for work is the goal, some greenery/parks would be really nice, and I’d love to get involved in a community but that’s an additional luxury. We’re also looking at the Bronx but my partner feels safer in Queens. I’m not familiar with any Bronx neighborhoods but I commute there for work from LI. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!!