u/PantheraLex

I went to a huge garden today to meet a photographer for the first time earlier this week. It was going well, and we just did glamour shots, not explicit or suggestive. But eventually, two older ladies who had walked by earlier asked me if I was okay and needed help. I smiled and let them know that I was good! I felt very touched that they checked up on me! They stuck around for a while, and when the photographer and I started to head out, we passed them. And I let them know they were very sweet to check on me, and I'm really glad people are willing to check on others, that women like them help keep other women safe! They still looked really disgusted with the photographer and I explained that I was a model and reached out to him for some photos. They commented that they were “sureeeee he's the one who reached out to me” and kept looking disgusted towards him. I offered my hand to shake theirs cause again I was really touched by them. But they just looked at me with sheer contempt and disgust, before reminding me that there were outlets to get help and ignored my hand. I felt so bad, I went from being really happy that others are still checking on others to feeling repulsive and like I ruined everything.

I had a friend who was saved from an instance of physical abuse because two women asked if she was okay, which served as a reminder to her partner that he was in public and was being watched. I also told the photographer later about how many women would still be alive if someone had just paused and asked, “Are you okay?” but I just feel now that their checking on me wasn't out of concern but contempt or concern trolling irl. Idk how to feel. I've just been abusing drugs the past few days cause i feel like I messed up.