u/ParkingDeep8073

Salam

I am separated from my husband, and deciding to eventually divorce. My husband cheated on me after I had his child, because I wasn’t able to be the wife he wanted, I’ve contracted std’s and so I decided to leave because of his lack of empathy and attitude around his behaviour.

I am already pretty traumatised and didn’t have a great relationship with marriage to begin, having been married when I was very young and divorcing young I carry a lot of shame and baggage. What’s worse is the amount of gaslighting I’ve received even from other women, who tell me I can move past the cheating and get over it for my son. Is this what Allah wants from us now? To oppress ourselves for the sake of our reputations?

I am in shambles and asking for sincere duaa. I am losing my faith day by day, I’ve gone through hell already and wish I never tried to get married again, I went into it with good intentions however I failed again. I fear that many of my decisions have lead me down a path of destruction where I’m often left rebuilding and I’m very tired.

I have no one to talk to in real life about this and it’s really hard, I want to end my life and just be done with it all, the sheer weight of making the wrong decision feels like being skinned alive - then to be lectured on how hard marriage is and how bad divorce is - at this point it just falls on deaf ears I’m exhausted, I don’t understand how marriage is meant to feel, it feels like being in hell to me

I’m so tired

Salam

Given the state of the world and what our ummah is experiencing, and given the recent mosque shooting I want to extend a warm gesture to fellow American Shia. How is the situation there? How do you all feel? Is it as tense and unsafe as it appears on social media and TV from outsiders perspectives ? Especially those in heavily Shia or more densely populated cities with less diversity?

May Allah SWT keep us all safe

Salam

Just had a debate with a friend who has advised me reciting the Quran when a person dies is innovation.

I asked why and how? They said the prophet never did this and it doesn’t benefit the dead, rather we make duaa. Yes this friend is Sunni.

I know we don’t believe the same things but I would like someone scholarly to explain to me, where and why would they claim such a thing? And also what is their basis for this?

I am safe to assume this something they (un)knowingly do to separate themselves from us, but I’m seeking knowledge from someone to explain this topic to me and why they take that approach and what it stems from?

I constantly hear random stuff like this coming out of them, and they claim it’s from the prophet, and we claim it comes from the Sahaba. For example, they claim the Prophet himself cursed those who get or give tattoos. But according to us, it was Aisha who declared this?

I hope I’m making sense and someone with knowledge understand what I’m trying to ask? I want the Sunni and Shia perspective on this, and to further explain the true meaning behind this ruling (I am suspicious it is naturally going to anti Shia but I am willing to be proven wrong)

tia w Salam

Sisters who stayed in marriages they were unhappy in, what did you do to make life bearable?