Becoming Unbothered
I’m 1 month out from leaving a narcissistic partner.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was happening during the relationship - he had a young child who became an excuse, a weapon and a shield for his behavior.
The relationship went on for a year and 7 months, at one point we were living together.
Throughout that time, my gut instinct was trying to get my attention.
i rationalized everything, made excuses, was lenient because he had a child etc
The very last time I saw him - he crossed a major boundary and i confronted him. I was angry, raised my voice and this became the problem ( rather than the boundary he crossed)
He took it upon himself to intimidate, shove me and raise a chair over his head - at me. He had that shark like gaze. And in that moment it became apparent that i was likely dealing with NPD.
I called the cops, reported him, blocked him everywhere. I have maintained no contact since.
The past few weeks i have been grappling with grief, reflecting on my part in the story, trying to understand what happened. All the emotions, really, from relief to despair to joy.
Studying NPD and learning about the signs.
This morning while waking up - an insight came through.
‘Become unbothered’
Refocus my energy and entire life.
And now its deciding what that looks like for me.
Of course, grief will return as it needs to and i’ll have to work through it.
But i have a clear path insight now.
Maybe this helps someone also experiencing this <3