u/Particular-Way-2351

A newbie here. This sub has been so helpful while navigating my limerence so thank you all so much.

My story is that my LO is married (but always shit talking about his wife) and was having an affair with one of his colleagues. He’s actually had continuous stream of lovers throughout their entire relationship.

He approached me saying he was in the process of getting divorced and that female colleague he was very close was just a friend.

I recently went through a painful separation and was very vulnerable, so of course I stupidly fell for him and we had pretty amazing connection and chemistry for a while, or so I thought. When I realized that he was not leaving his wife nor the colleague was just a friend, I decided to end things with him. I learned he pursued me while he was in a pause with this ‘friend’ and once they got back together he went cold and indifferent but he still bread crumbed me with occasional flirting and care. It was so toxic.

During all this I was so obsessed and the highs and lows were just crazy and that is how I learned about limerence. It made perfect sense why it was so hard. I also realized that he has all the traces of a sociopath(dark empath) and that scared me.

Anyways, I went no contact and the urge to confront him is driving me crazy. I wrote a long text message to express my anger but should I send it to him for a closure? I know the answer is no but I need some assurance. Please help..

It goes something like this:

I can’t believe I let someone like you take advantage of me. You are nothing but a pathological liar and adulterer, morally bankrupt horrible human being with no integrity. You knew I was in the most vulnerable state of my life and still made advance at me for your own gratification. You kept playing with me, leading me on while you were rekindling your relationship with your affair partner and securing your comfortable life with your wife, using my genuine affection and care to boost your ego and gain validation.

I am so mad at myself to have let this happen I don’t even care how you would take this. I am walking away from it all so don’t ever contact me again.

Totally stupid and immature I know. Please tell me this is a bad idea. Silence is golden right?

Sorry about the throwaway account. I am in a deep remorse and I really need some advice.

Last month I did my first Camino. I had an amazing start from SJPDP, then I met someone in Pamplona, before I had a chance to figure things out on my own. I fell for them really hard it was crazy. Something like that never happened to me before as I am a very cautious person. We stayed together for the most part and had a great time, but in the end they weren’t that into me and we went separate ways. I was hurt and confused but also very glad it was over.

The problem was after that the rest of my Camino was completely thrown off the track, chasing, missing, regretting. My pace was all messed up and I isolated myself to make things worse. I reached Santiago all alone. I felt like I ruined once in a lifetime chance to really be with myself and grow. I feel so stupid and regretful for the choices I made. Despite all that, I still had an amazing time and learned so much. I feel incredibly grateful for everything that happened to me on the Camino (except meeting them) and I long to be on the Camino again.

That’s why I want to do my next one right away, like within a month, to redeem myself and do a proper Camino this time. Luckily I have the time and means to do so right now but I will be tied again with my new job soon. I really want a second chance to enjoy myself and all the amazing people/things I encounter along the way without the emotional drainage and distraction. Is it too soon? Will I be obsessing over them going through places we were together and relive the pain and anguish? The fact is that I am still not entirely over them. I miss them and the amazing times we had together despite it was all just my illusion.

Thought about doing a different route but all I want is to redo the Francés so I can write over the one before to be honest.

Should I do it?