u/PassportNerd

I'm a 25M getting into a long-term relationship with a woman with a 9 and 4 year old. The 9 year old has always been respectful and nice and is slowly warming up to me and is now quoting SpongeBob with me and stuff like that. The youngest one is cool with everyone so no problems.

There aren't any real issues or frictionI just want to make sure I do this right and am fair to them because a child of girlfriend dynamic is very new to me.

I do not want to be a father figure to these kids because they already have a dad they love. I want to be a good bonus adult in their lives and I want to do this right because their mom is wonderful and I care about her a lot.

I'm dating a lovely woman with a 9 and 4 year old from a previous relationship (she is diplomatic with baby daddy and he lives around the corner). The kids are cool and I enjoy hanging out with them, but sometimes the oldest one gets board at dad's house during days he's supposed to be with dad and it's a huge cockblock.

His mom refuses to say stay with your dad because she doesn't want him to feel unwanted because he's too young to realize wanting him gone so we can smash isn't personal to him.

Also, from first being introduced to the oldest we got along, but he still cosleeps with his mom and refused to sleep in the spot that he saw me sitting when he walked in the room.

Of course my girlfriend will always put her children first that is the way it should be, but finding a balance is something we're still getting into the rhythm of.