u/Past-Difficulty4653

Hi y'all, I'm looking for some insight on whether I should file for I-140 premium processing or not (I would be paying out of pocket since my employer is not sponsoring it).
My priority date is April 2025, and my I-140 is still pending with my old employer. I used OPT for my previous position, and after my OPT ended, I moved to a different hospital that filed my H-IB. I currently have an active H-IB valid until March 2028.
My I-140 has been pending for 16 months, and USCIS currently estimates that I-140 processing can take around 23.5 months (which is a long wait).
The Visa Bulletin cutoff for EB-3 ROW is currently August I, 2024, which is about 8 months behind my priority date.

The reason I'm considering premium processing is that my current employer cannot file a new 1-140 and retain my priority date while my old I-140 is still pending. From what my current attorney and agency have told me, a pending I-140 does not allow them to carry over my priority date.
I'm considering paying for premium processing just to get the 1-140 approved and secure my priority date, but the total cost would be around $3,500
including attorney fees and FedEx fees.
I know $3,500 may not sound like a lot to everyone, but it is a significant amount of money for me right now, and I'm currently trying to be careful financially.

Would appreciate any advice or insight from people who have been in a similar situation. Would you pay for premium processing in my case, or would you continue waiting?

Hi, I’m 24F and I’ve been with my boyfriend (26M) for about 9 months. We’ve lived together for the past 3 months, but I’m planning to move out soon. (Whole another story)

Recently, we’ve been having ongoing issues with communication. It feels like we can’t have serious conversations without one or both of us getting upset. When I bring up things that bother me, I sometimes get emotional and tear up. When that happens, he often responds by pointing out things I do wrong too, which makes me feel dismissed. I’ve tried to communicate that this response makes it hard for me to feel heard.

I also recognize that I may have been bringing up concerns too frequently, which can feel overwhelming for him. I’ve said to him that I’ll reduce how often I bring things up, but even when I do, our conversations still tend to end negatively or without resolution.

For example, we had a small disagreement this morning, and he shut down the conversation and just f words popped in the text messages. This has been a pattern where we don’t fully resolve issues and instead end up feeling more distant.

Our emotional connection and intimacy have also been affected. Our sex life is almost nonexistent right now. He told me he’s been watching porn and masturbating on nights when we fight. That really hurt to hear. He didn’t want to talk about it much and said he thought things would improve once our relationship isn’t so rocky. There have also been times when he couldn’t stay hard during sex, which makes me feel insecure. Part of me thinks this is related to porn, but deep down I feel like it’s more about our emotional disconnect.

This is my first serious relationship, so I’m not sure what is considered normal or fixable at this stage. I’ve tried to be more open and communicative compared to the beginning of the relationship, but he feels that I now bring up issues too often.

I’m feeling stuck between wanting to improve things and wondering if we may not be compatible long-term.

What are some effective ways for couples to improve communication when conversations tend to escalate or shut down, and how can I tell if this is something that can realistically improve versus a sign of deeper incompatibility?