u/PayloadPirate

Hey y'all, I'm new here, but I just need to air some stuff out since I don't really have anyone to truly talk about it with.

I'll try to keep it long and short.

I'm now 26; I joined the Navy at 24, and my ex and I had been together for over 4 years, and living together for a little over a year up until that point.

There were "hiccups" in our relationship (mainly for stupid things like laundry, cleaning, shopping, drinking, etc.), but it was never anything "detrimental."

I knew she was "the one" and ended up buying a ring while I was in A-School to propose to her before I shipped out to my first command. Unfortunately, I am the kind of person who takes everything as a "sign," and nothing felt "right" while I was on leave between school and my command to actually "pop the question." Something didn't feel right in my gut, and as my mom has burned into me for 26 years, "always trust your gut."

Well, I made the mistake of proposing in the airport, in my blues, where she first said yes, but as soon as I got on the plane and told her I boarded, she told me she wanted me to do it again.

Again, long and short; 2 months into me being at my new command, I learned from a mutual friend through texts, videos, and photos that she'd cheated on me with 3 coworkers in 1 weekend, which were all her "coworkers she was going to the beach with."

After a call asking why she did it, with the proof, she then filed a false restraining order against me 3,000 miles away, saying I was harassing her, which both sheriffs from here and back home laughed off but said they still had to do their jobs and issued it to me.

That was last May.

It has now been a year and 3 months since that incident.

Today I learned, again from a mutual friend that I haven't talked to since that incident, that she has been seeing someone she calls a "partner," as well as a photo of a truck I very clearly recognize.

Since our initial separation in May of last year, I've struggled severely with drinking, and have wound up in the hospital numerous times. Most of which I have no recollection of.

I've been doing so well being sober, but tonight, I am starting back at square 1.

I don't know why it's hitting me so hard, but it is.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings.