Potential mutual crush on a client?
Hello Reddit! Long-time reader, first-time poster here! I suppose I am seeking advice and opinions on this situation. I will try to make a long story short while not leaving out too many important details. I am a hairstylist and have developed a crush on one of my long-term clients, and I think the crush is mutual, but I cannot tell for sure.
I have been cutting his hair for about 6 years; I met him outside of work through another client who became a friend whose hair I have been doing for almost 10 years. I was hanging out with him and his husband, and my now-crush was also there; he needed a haircut and has been a loyal client ever since. I always thought he was attractive, but I was married at the time, so he obviously was not on my radar like that, and vice versa.
I have since gotten divorced and have been single for about 2 years. I have only had one little fling since my divorce with a woman I was close with, which faded quickly; we stayed friends, but I have not had any substantial feelings or connections with anyone since, especially a man, due to some trauma from my ex-husband (I am bi, not that it matters, but just for context). I was fully prepared to stay single and stay in my lane; I did not think anything of my client or anyone else because I had so much going on getting my life together that I did not want or have anyone on my radar. I just was not ready to accept any of that, I had to heal, and I have to have a deeper connection with people to have any form of a crush or intimacy; my heart just was not there, and my client and I were not super close at the time, as it was always the same small talk and updates during his appointments.
Anyways, time for the juicy part! Please stick around; I promise I will get to the point. Around July of this year, I started to notice him as an attractive guy again, not just as a client and acquaintance. I thought he would never feel the same, as I had seen him outside of the salon a few times in a group with my other clients and friends. I still pushed it aside because surely it was nothing and I would get over it; I did not think he would have any interest in me either.
However, a few appointments ago, the vibe seemed very different during our appointments in a good way. I do not know if it is delusion or mutual attraction, but he was making more eye contact, started booking his appointments earlier, and would linger to talk to me after his appointment, which he did not do before. Again, I have been cutting his hair for about 6 years, so maybe he is just finally getting comfortable with me, but I feel like that would have happened sooner. Then we had another haircut and it was similar; he was opening up to me a bit more, too. I just felt a vibe change I've never felt with him before.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago: our mutual friends and my other clients invited me to go to a local drive-thru restaurant near town. He called to invite me and told me my crush was going to be there and that they go every Saturday. He doesn't know about the crush to my knowledge, at least from my end. We're all mutuals and haven't hung out in a while, so I decided to go because it would be fun and I could also test the waters. We all met at the place, and as soon as I got out of the car, he immediately turned to me and said, "So, I'll be seeing you next week," with a smirk; he was smiling, but not quite. I told him his appointment wasn't until the week after; apparently, we were both heavily keeping tabs on when his next appointment was. He looked at me and said, "It's definitely next week," and told me he was going to pull it up on his phone to prove it; I then took out my phone to check the book and showed him the appointment was the following week. He seemed kind of bummed it wasn't sooner, but we had some playful banter about it. He also stood near me, and we chatted here and there about silly things like pasta salad and his coleslaw preferences, lol. I was definitely a little flirty with him, but we were in a group and I didn't want to make it obvious. I also caught him staring a few times, and then he turned away when I looked back, and vice versa.
Fast forward to his next appointment, the most recent one. I suddenly had so much excitement and butterflies to see him and cut his hair that I could barely hold it together, but for the sake of professionalism, I obviously did. As soon as we saw each other, we were both cheesing, and then he reeled it back a little. He got in my chair, and we had the most in-depth conversation I've ever had with him. He really started to open up to me more and seemed a lot more comfortable. I'm looking for an apartment, and he was trying to help with ideas; he told me he had a brother and shared all about him and his girlfriend, which I never knew until then. We talked about a whole bunch of things and I learned a lot about him; we had more silly food preference talks, too. He also had me trim his facial hair, which he's never had me do; for that, I'm right in someone's face, so I was dying being a few inches away from him. He looked so fine and I was holding it together; I could see him staring at my face while I did it, and I could tell I was blushing from our cute little interactions. He stayed later to talk to me again and lingered longer than usual, and kept eye contact for most of the time. He told me about his travel plans in depth, his Halloween costume plans, and his work drama, which he's never chatted with me about before. I don't know if I'm just delusional, spot on with my feelings that this might be mutual, or what. There was a lot more banter and laughing and smiling with/at each other this time; so I can't ignore that!
My therapist thinks he is flirting with me subtly because he is a more reserved kind of guy, but I figured I would come here to see what you all think and what I should do. If I had not been his hairstylist first, I probably would have made some sort of move by now, but I want to retain our professional relationship and avoid making him uncomfortable or losing a client whom I also genuinely enjoy as a client and now friend. I wonder if he feels the same and does not want to come off as a weirdo too; all the tension is killing me. I am at the point where I am fully down bad with this crush, and I am struggling with how to navigate it. HELP! 😅