Do you feel there is a difference when men date women significantly younger than them vs. when women date men significantly younger?
I feel like a bit of a hypocrite.
I (35yo) judge mature men who date women in their early 20s.
For example, one of my colleagues is a competent and fiery but insecure young woman of 23 and she has started dating another colleague of ours who is a 46 year old man (they are in different departments, so at least he is not her manager or anything). I do not approve. At all. Of course she doesn't need my approval, but I think he is a huge loser. He even cheated on her and she took him back. I want to shake her and tell her he can't find a woman his age who will put up with his shit, that a man like this could steal her youth, that he isn't even cute or rich, that one day she will be as old as he is now and she will see how much of a sad sack he is.
But then in the past few years I have gotten a lot of attention from men in their early 20s. I have had multiple flings with young men ranging ages 22 to 25. I have always made it clear it is just a casual thing and I haven't inflicted any emotional damage on them as far as I can tell. I personally am not interested in a serious relationship with someone drastically younger than me; I would never ever enter into the kind of relationship my colleagues are in.
I tell myself it is different, these situations cannot be compared. I tell myself there is an inherent power imbalance between women and men, and so when men date younger women, the exploitative dynamic is exacerbated. But when women date younger, the power imbalance gets corrected slightly. I try to be conscientious of my greater experience in my interactions with these young men, but I do not trust older men to do the same when they date younger women.
But I shouldn't leave this double standard examined. In the interest of resolving cognitive dissonance, I would like to hear your thoughts.