u/Personal-Proof-7044

Well my bf came over last night and within minutes of him getting here his new friend (female) messages him “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone, by the way your girlfriend is so pretty!” She saw me off his Facebook I guess? The context is we kind of split up for a month and have recently reconnected and during that time he made a female friend. We’ve been together for 3 years but have had our fair share of problems.

I’m trying to not be jealous because yes we were broken up and it’s not my place to say “you can’t be friends with her” of course but the message seemed really strange out of nowhere the second he came over to my house. I do struggle with things like this so I can’t tell if it was genuine or some weird thing she’s doing.

I’ve pretty much always been in relationships since I was 16 (35 now) and they were all with people who mistreated me. I keep trying to message the last toxic person because I can’t seem to let go? I’m trying to work on skills and understand it wasn’t healthy for me. I don’t really know how to just be single at this point, it’s strange to say but it feels terrifying. I’m okay when I’m with my friends but the second they’re gone it’s like the panic sets in.

I’ve tried so many different things, moving, therapy etc but it feels like an uphill battle still. I don’t want to date again until I’m healed (i start the full DBT program on Monday) for those who feel comfortable without having “that person” how did you manage to get there? Thanks 💛

3 long years of dealing with the ups and the downs, psychosis, a discard, cheating etc list goes on. I am done. I’m not going to dwell on “was any of it even real?” Because it was to me and I guess that’s all I can take away from this experience. I’m so worn out, I’m sad but I can’t do this anymore.