u/PetraNeedsHelp1

I hope this post doesn't get deleted again.

I(17f) I'm in a friend group of 5 other girls. We bace friends little over 2 years ago when we became roommates in freshman year. The school we go to is very openly queer and a safe space for anyone regardless of identity. Of course you are met with the occasional remarks but that's it.

I am not out to any of them or publicly anywhere. Only people in my home town know this information and a few of my cousins. When me and Jane(fake name) became friends there was one situation which I always go back to when I'm actually thinking of comming out. We were sitting on my dorm bed and she asked me "are you a lesbian?" Back then I was very masculine presenting so I get why she would get the idea. I said no and she replied with "thank god,finally someone normal at this school".

After 2 years she has moved on from this wierd ideology about queer people being "abnormal" but she still makes comments here and there. The pot brew over about 4 months ago when she broke up with her boyfriend. It was a bad break up and with everything else going on in her life it didn't help. We were talking one night and she mentioned she might be bi. I said wow ok brave we support you no matter what and all that jazz. Then I asked how she knew,her answer was "I dont I just want to try women now". In my opinion still a valid response until the words "i dont like women i just think having a thing with a lesbo night be fun"(she used a very slur like word in our language but it doesnt have an English equivalent). At this is kind of blew up on her but remembered not to expose myself and played the card of having queer people close to me so thats why it upset me. She understood and we moved on. The comments continued.

This summer we all had a week long trip together. Being European and teens alcohol was involved and we talked about all sorts of things including the lgbtq+. Darcy(fake name) is a complete ally despite being incredibly religious,she apparently even wore a pride flag to church on multiple occasions. Lena(fake name) is the stereotypical "ally" who won't speak ill of the community but isnt very supportive. "I'm ok with it as long its not showed down my throat" type of person. When we get to severally intoxicated Jane things change. She said that she like women sexually and men romantically and how she would sleep with all of us. There was some pushing from her side about some things I won't get into but she insisted about this being her identity.

I'm aware of this existing and I apologize if I come off as unsupportive I really am for her discovering herself we are young after all but it just seems wierd to me. Not the identity itself but the circumstances of it all. She was drunk,like barely talking drunk and that combined with the past comments I really dont know what to think. Watching this unfold as I have been scare to look different in their eyes for 2 years is really not helping my mental state.

Has anyone been through someting similar?

I feel like im not myself around them as I think sexuality is a big part of your identity as a human. It's just upsetting not knowing if you can truly be yourself with the people you consider your closest friends.

Would it even be worth comming out? How do I handle the situation with Jane?

Thank you for reading sorry for the mistakes English is not my first language.

I hope this post doesn't get deleted again.

I(17f) I'm in a friend group of 5 other girls. We bace friends little over 2 years ago when we became roommates in freshman year. The school we go to is very openly queer and a safe space for anyone regardless of identity. Of course you are met with the occasional remarks but that's it.

I am not out to any of them or publicly anywhere. Only people in my home town know this information and a few of my cousins. When me and Jane(fake name) became friends there was one situation which I always go back to when I'm actually thinking of comming out. We were sitting on my dorm bed and she asked me "are you a lesbian?" Back then I was very masculine presenting so I get why she would get the idea. I said no and she replied with "thank god,finally someone normal at this school".

After 2 years she has moved on from this wierd ideology about queer people being "abnormal" but she still makes comments here and there. The pot brew over about 4 months ago when she broke up with her boyfriend. It was a bad break up and with everything else going on in her life it didn't help. We were talking one night and she mentioned she might be bi. I said wow ok brave we support you no matter what and all that jazz. Then I asked how she knew,her answer was "I dont I just want to try women now". In my opinion still a valid response until the words "i dont like women i just think having a thing with a lesbo night be fun"(she used a very slur like word in our language but it doesnt have an English equivalent). At this is kind of blew up on her but remembered not to expose myself and played the card of having queer people close to me so thats why it upset me. She understood and we moved on. The comments continued.

This summer we all had a week long trip together. Being European and teens alcohol was involved and we talked about all sorts of things including the lgbtq+. Darcy(fake name) is a complete ally despite being incredibly religious,she apparently even wore a pride flag to church on multiple occasions. Lena(fake name) is the stereotypical "ally" who won't speak ill of the community but isnt very supportive. "I'm ok with it as long its not showed down my throat" type of person. When we get to severally intoxicated Jane things change. She said that she like women sexually and men romantically and how she would sleep with all of us. There was some pushing from her side about some things I won't get into but she insisted about this being her identity.

I'm aware of this existing and I apologize if I come off as unsupportive I really am for her discovering herself we are young after all but it just seems wierd to me. Not the identity itself but the circumstances of it all. She was drunk,like barely talking drunk and that combined with the past comments I really dont know what to think. Watching this unfold as I have been scare to look different in their eyes for 2 years is really not helping my mental state.

Has anyone been through someting similar?

I feel like im not myself around them as I think sexuality is a big part of your identity as a human. It's just upsetting not knowing if you can truly be yourself with the people you consider your closest friends.

Would it even be worth comming out? How do I handle the situation with Jane?

Thank you for reading sorry for the mistakes English is not my first language.

My writing started with daydreams in middle school and it slowly progressed into writing short stories. Now I'm at a point where i have dozens of drafts just sitting in my notes app waiting to be used. It's either just an outline of a story or full scenes. Everytime I start to actually develop a story i get a new idea and the old one gets abandoned. Having no one to share my stories with probably doesn't help. I come up with maybe 10 ideas a week,many of which I dont even write down because a new one overrides them so quickly.

Is there someone else going through this?