u/PhanThom-art

I've had severe depression since about 2018, but am doing very well mentally since spring/summer last year.
Had insomnia for as long as I can remember, (taking as much as an hour to fall asleep, frequent wakings, 5-6hrs sleep/night), but that seems to be cured since this year after a few months of sleep restriction therapy, so I thought I could start rebuilding my life to have some kind of future but then it turns out I have non-sleep related chronic fatigue and it's getting worse since I started working a part time job this year.

Sleep-related causes have been ruled out by two sleep centers, though in my opinion the testing wasn't very accurate or thorough. Past blood tests have never shown anything out of the ordinary. I have few to none of the physical symptoms of ME, just frequent headaches and very limited PEM (compared to what I've read about). So out of a few online ME tests I've done the results are about 50/50. I often have heavy brain fog and trouble concentrating. Speaking costs me a lot of energy.

Waitlists are very long in my country, with 3 months to see an internal medicine specialist at the local hospital to rule out physical causes, and up to 11 months for a chronic fatigue specialist. Through my insurance I managed to see an internist on much shorter notice but the man spent most of the appointment asking about my living situation, work and psychological stuff like he was trying to find something else to blame it on as if I haven't already spent years working through those things with psychologists and psychiatrists. He ordered another blood and urine analysis but neither of us expects anything to come out of it.
It's so hard to get any of the doctors to do anything or take me seriously.

Currently only taking Xanax and Propranolol very sporadically and in low doses for anxiety and stress.

I just want to get on with my life now that I'm finally not depressed anymore but now this is getting in the way. I don't wanna waste more years just stuck on waitlists.

I don't know if there's too much info here, or too little, ask me anything you need to know, any help would be appreciated. I'm tired of being tired.

Just watched Palm Trees and Power Lines, very disturbing. Makes me feel disgusted to be a man, but at the same time I think movies like these are necessary. Not in the way that everyone should watch it, probably the contrary actually, but I'm glad they're being made. They make us face difficult truths. Just like The Woodsman and The Zone of Interest force us to view a situation from a point of view nobody wants to experience because it's so apalling to us. But putting ourselves in those disgusting shoes helps to understand how these things happen and hopefully to prevent them.

Possible spoilers below: don't know how we handle those on this sub or if we care.

Nobody wants to see what it's like for an underage girl to be groomed, manipulated and trafficked. Nobody wants to empathize with a pedophile. Nobody wants to look at the commander of a nazi concentration camp and his family as regular humans. And yet I'm glad I watched all three of these movies this year, and found them all very powerful.

Let me know what you thought of these movies and recommend me similar ones, that are disturbing and horrifying not for the shock value but for what they ask of the viewer

I wish I could have watched it in one sitting but streaming issues got in the way. Still, it had all the hallmarks of Sorrentino. The story is somewhat abstract, difficult to interpret, but you get a sense of a message being in there somewhere. Less moments of heightened reality this time, but always the utmost humanity. I just love the way Paolo Sorrentino sees the world. He's a master of showing how the ugly, difficult, painful parts are just as much a part of the beauty of life as the good parts. Beauty (including superficial), loss, regret, love, aging, diversity of people, love of a place, always feature prominently in his films.
This one had a lot of the same elements, and something about grace, obviously. But that I can't quite figure out, but it seems to go hand in hand with the message about love, and remembering, based on the president's final decision. Let me know your interpretations.

I can't do his films justice in words, and I can't describe how much I love them, they make me feel seen and understood. They feel real, genuine, offer emotion and connection where I otherwise wouldn't have found any, remind me of my own brand of passion for life, when maybe sometimes I lose it. I'm hoping to have some discussions with other fans, about interpretations and such, or recommendations of his films that I haven't watched yet.

Besides La Grazia, so far I've seen:
La Grande Bellezza
The Young Pope
The Hand of God
Parthenope
Loro
This Must Be the Place
Youth

I'm trying to search for variants of the phrase "saAy(.n=i) jb(=i)" from BM EA586, line 2, but no matter how I write it nothing comes up. Even if I copy it from JSesh as unicode, exactly as it's written on the stela.
What do I need to type to find examples of the word saA(y) followed by jb?
I need help in figuring out how to search the TLA for anything more than simple single words.

saAy(.n=i) jb(=i) r jtw(.i) xrw rHAt

I feel like I read a more direct translation of "saAy jb" before somewhere but I can't find it, and I tried the TLA but find it impossible to search with except for the simplest single words.

Working through Collier & Manley's book still, btw. They translate the phrase as "I advanced my position more than my forefathers", but I'm wondering if it could be interpreted another way, since the advancement of position or status seems inherent to the word saAy, but they saw fit to add the heart glyph with a stroke in this case.
Could advancing the heart, or making the heart great, in this case mean being generous, or intelligent? Or is Ity just saying he reached a higher rank than his forefathers, "advanced his position", like the book says?

I always try to look for the most literal translation that still makes sense in english, it helps me to understand the mechanics of the egyptian language better.

I'm kinda new to the band, and a visual artist myself, I'm really struck by Layne and his story, and I'd like to try to paint his portrait at some point, so I'm looking for as much reference material as I can.
I don't trust google anymore though, so hard to know what's AI these days. Is there maybe some old fan site that has a big image gallery of him?

I'd also welcome suggestions for what kind of setting to paint him in. I'd like to show him at his best, so not the Unplugged performance I see most often recreated in fanart. I found an interview with the whole band from Finland in '93 where he looks really handsome and healthy.

I made a sketchbook a few months ago that I take everywhere, it doesn't get super beat up, I put it in my backpack or coat pocket so the spine gets some stress but it's not visually damaged. However, I just noticed that the mull has detached from the spine.

How can I ensure a stronger bond in the future without changing my materials? I don't want to use PVA glue. I use linen thread to bind my book, home-starched cotton cheese cloth as mull, and tissue paper on top, and hide glue for adhesive between spine, mull and tissue paper. Would it be better to glue the tissue paper on the spine first, and then the mull? I thought I saw it done the other way around in videos but now I'm not sure anymore.