CMV: offensive jokes with friends are acceptable
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Hi, Throwaway account because I feel more comfortable like this. So I'm 19F and I'm trying to get more into feminism. I have also been but never really dig the theory or more intersectional aspects.
Now, "black humor" is what I use because of lack of better terms. Ik the term is... questionable but anyway, please bear with me. I'm trying to be a better person and feminist and ally and work for a better world.
My question is rather simple: I know for a fact I'm not anti-feminist/racist/homophobe and so on. I always try to be at events and pride marches and protests. This is something I know for certain and I would like for you to consider.
It may happen that I said a racist joke, or a sexist one, with my friends with no one else involved.
As far as I understand, this is wrong because a) I'm reinforcing the bad thing in my head b) someone may rightfully get offended c) I might be signaling to other people that I do support that idea.
Tell me if I'm missing anything.
Now, back to my previous assumption b and c don't really apply because I am alone with trusted friends.
A I would say doesn't apply because, again I know I'm not a patriarchy supporter and so on.
What I can't understand is:
A) Am I reasoning correcly?
B) If I am, how bad can a joke with friends be?
C) Am I actually a bad person because I'm not angry enough? How do you measure anger? Can I train it?
Please and thank you. I'm really trying to be better
Edit: I already changed my mind. I'm trying to solidify my views against it.
My main arguments are a) I'm making myself more prone to tolerate more hateful behavior b) I'm kinda normalizing it c) it's asshole way of behaving and even hard to justify