My 4 year old had been acting racist and I don't know how to manage his behavior.
My (29f) son (4m) has starting saying he doesn't like brown kids at daycare and playgrounds. This recently started about a week ago. I don't understand where it could have possibly come from as both his father and I have friends of all backgrounds and ethnicities. The first time my son said this to me was when we were at the playground, he said "I don't want to be around that brown kid because he looks like poop" I was appalled, I told him that is very rude to say, you don't tell people they look like poop, I asked if he told the child that he looked like poop, he said "no, I just told you". I took him from the park because I was both ashamed and mad at my child for saying that about someone.
We got home and I explained to him that it is very mean to say that someone looks like poop, I told him that it's okay not to like people if they are rude to you, but it is not okay to be mean to people just because of what they look like. He said "okay I'll try".
Now today, I just dropped him off at daycare, and he told me he doesn't want to stay because there is brown kids there (he's been going to this daycare since he was 9 months old and has never had an issue with anyone before). I again told him, that it is okay not to like someone if they are mean to you, you dont have to talk to them, but it is very mean of you to not like someone just because of what they look like. I explained that when mommy goes to work, I have people who are mean to me, I've had people spit at me, try and bite me, punch me and kick me. And I am still nice to them. (I work at a hospital) I told him he has to be nice to everyone, no matter what they look like. Even if someone is mean, you just walk away. But to never be mean to them. He told me he'll try. I said to him before I left that no, you will be nice. Trying is not an option, you have to tell yourself to be nice to everyone.
Is there a better way to approach this with him? He's only 4, but I really just don't understand where he could have gotten this from. His 10 year old brother has never acted this way and also has friends from various ethnicities.
Please help me find a way to resolve this, I'm lost and feel ashamed that this is even an issue with him.