u/PinkWhiteYellowRose

Hi everyone, I recently made a post about my frustrations as a dance teacher, coming from a strict classical ballet background and dealing with extremely rude and disrespectful kids in a competitive school. Not all the competitive schools I work for are like this, one of them is very focused and even has students that have been really inspired to do ballet solos in the competitions. However, even when the school tries to get the kids in check, it is clear they value the parents money over true discipline, and every week I am stuck with lazy and extremely rude kids.

The advice I got on the last post was really great, I am still reading through some of it and trying to respond to it all. I feel that I need to branch out and become inspired again. I have some personal projects that I want to do, as well as being hired at schools where I am appreciated more.

Thus one school asked me a few weeks ago if I would be continuing with next year, I felt pressure and said yes. Every week that passes by though, I am more sure that I need to leave. They have been consistent with classes in payment which is good, but the environment is just not healthy for me. The problem is that I am their main ballet teacher and so if I am not there, they would need to find a whole other person. They may not find someone with my level of Ballet training or who gives the kind of advanced classes that I do, but at this point I’m not even able to fully give them advanced classes because they just won’t focus.

To me, it’s not really an issue. Jobs can always replace you, and so it’s on them to find someone else and I think having a few months is more than enough time. However, I am not sure when to save us. One person is telling me that I should just tell them from now so that they have enough time and just get it over with. This makes me really uncomfortable because the last month until the show will be just really uncomfortable. Another person is telling me that I can tell them after the recital which would be in June, and that still gives them two months to find someone else. Yes I am kind of leaving them without a ballet teacher, but I am not going to sacrifice my happiness for them

What would you do?

Hi everyone. I am a ballet dancer, teacher and choreographer. I have been teaching for 3-4 years. I was trained in a strict Vaganova method ballet school with a full classical approach. My teachers were caring but very strict, no one dared to make noise or disrespect. Even the less serious dancers would still take it somewhat seriously and be respectful.

Since I first started teaching, the only schools I’ve ever worked at, have been competitive dance schools. I have never done a competition myself, but my first competition I choreographed for, we won not only the highest in the overalls, but also highest score of the competition and choreography award. I am not surprised because I am bringing high level dancing to competitions not used to this in ballet, I am also talented and so were my students, but it is an accomplishment since ballet rarely wins.

HOWEVER, if I’m being honest, the competition world feels like a downgrade. From the bottom of my heart this is not meant to be disrespectful to anyone who was involved with comp schools. To me it always seemed much lower level. Like these people take these little kid comps so seriously. Obviously in the moment I feel proud of a win, but to me competitions means absolutely nothing. Choreographing and preparing for a production is different than a comp dance. Yes I get to be creative but still.

Now here is the main issue, besides one of the schools I work for, I work for 2-3 other studios. One of them is okay, the kids are more focused and do love me, but it's still not fully right. For the others, about half of the classes I have, are some of the most disrespectful kids I have ever seen. I have given them a full season, and not one change has been made. Every class, screaming, throwing things, talking rudely, not listening, not doing the work, lazy and the list goes on. These are also kids from 9-13 so definitely not 3 year olds. Even when the staff has somehwat stepped in (in my opinion you get kicked out of the school but of course they don’t want to lose money) it helps for 5 minutes and then it’s back to normal.

I know there are schools with more respectful dynamics, and one of the schools I work with is a bit stricter but not ballet level, but the majority are like this. Now I view myself as strict, because when I join a school they are taken aback at my difficulty in classes, expecting a lot, and not the “hi sweety” personality. But apparently these kids view me as not strict and nice and just won’t take me seriously unless I yell angrily for them to get out.

I have a new job lined up next year at a great school where the attitude seems better but it’s only 2 days. That means if I quit my other jobs I’ll have 2-3 days empty.

This past year, I have been dreading going to work. This should be fun, it’s tiring but it’s what I love. I get to dance and choreograph and see results. I am so uninspired and demotivated like I’m getting to the point where I hate the schools and the kids and the parents. I am disgusted that I have to lower myself to this. I have a good career but I’m over it. In my school people acted like HUMANS, not animals.

I am considering just quitting it all, I have savings, and want to figure out a next part of my career. Maybe I’m glamorizing it too much and have rose coloured glasses on, but just imagine walking into a a serious quiet environment where everyone is ready to work and you don’t have to fight for an hour.

Almost all the ballet schools that match me are run by 60-70 year old teachers from other countries who are not going to just hire some girl in her 20s to take over some of her or his classes. One ballet school almost hired me but for a few hours of recreational stuff on Saturday and it was like a mix of ballet acro again beneath what I do.

I’m not saying it’s impossible, but literally all the ballet schools here are like this. I would love to open my own studio, company, school or brand but that’s a major step. My mom says not to quit my jobs while I do it but my happiness and peace is more important to me

I know internet strangers won’t figure it out for me and I have to do that but I would appreciate any advice.

Recently someone wanted to set their relative up and asked if I was interested. I am not looking for marriage like that but want to get there one day so thought let me get to know him. He is 39m I’m f between 24 and 28. Wanna keep it a bit anonymous. He is older than what I usually would be okay with but figured he is nice and of my same background so let me give it a chance. seems really nice, literally in awe that he even is getting to talk to me, talking in love with me, but overall respectful.

I think hey let me take a look at his Instagram page to get an idea. Thousands of half naked hoes. Literally 70 year old grandmas in stockings half nude, botched surgery fake women, girls that look like kids, cross dresser transgender weirdo shit, like it’s FILLED. This is more extreme than what I usually hear. You only hear girls make fun of guys like this but was shocked it exists.

I ask him about it, clarifying that it’s not my place to reprimand him because we are not together but I am wondering why he follows all this garbage. Oh “someone hacked my page” then he shows me a white screen implying he can’t access it. And makes up more lies. He is very desperate and no women want him so I guess he’s repressed but still resorting to this??

He won’t stop begging me and saying I’m ruining his life because he dreamed of having someone like me but why tf should I talk to you.

Wouldn’t a guy be turned off if they saw me follow weird deformed naked loser shit?? Like oh this girl likes her timeline filled with saggy balls dipped in mustard. What???

Usually men like this come from bad backgrounds, cheaters liars wandering eyes. I’ve known good men in my life I believe it exists.

it’s irritating that no matter how beautiful, hot, smart, talented, desirable, caring you are, (it’s not about looks, even if you’re not the most good looking you deserve LOYALTY and their eyes only on you) you still have to be prepared to have anxiety or fight or flight looking at his social media.

in a way I think this is a blessing, you eliminate losers faster and can make space for a good man.

someone can have an empty social media and still be a really gross person, so I’m not saying that it’s only about what is online. However, in my opinion, if you choose to broadcast that you like ugly shit, don’t expect to have a beautiful relationship