the amount of customers that have given me attitude just because they have to download lidl plus is insane. i understand that change can be annoying but don’t give me attitude talking about “so how can i get my coupons now?!!!” well idk, download the new damn app and find out 💀
so basically, my mom last minute allowed my brother to attend bowie university when this whole time she wanted to him to stay home for community college, but now he is currently on the waitlist. now she’s putting the blame on me as if she’s not the same damn person who would always get annoyed anytime he would bring up the fact that he wants to go to bowie.
because i didn’t do good my first year of college and because i’m graduating a year late now she wants to put the blame on me on why he doesn’t have housing… this is literally the reason why i don’t like talking to her and being around her. yet she wonders why last semester i didn’t bother calling her abeg.
i already took accountability of me not doing well my first year a million times and yet thats enough for her, because im not being “remorseful” about my poor performance. i am really starting to dislike this lady and she’s the reason this whole weekend has been doodoo and she was off on the days that i was off. she tells me because im the oldest i have to be a “role model” well yes, but am i not allowed to fuck up??!!! it makes no damn sense, she puts all this pressure on me and expects me to do well. when my dad calls her out she gets mad and tells me im “enjoying” this, not really i mean you guys have always bumped heads since i was a jitt so im immune to them arguing. but i do enjoy it when my dad calls her out for being irrational.
i don’t know how im still mentally sane.
it’s like she wasn’t really emotionally there for me because she was working throughout all my life and my dad is a stay at home dad. so because of this of course i clinged on to my dad more and he didn’t scream at me for every little thing unlike her. im sorry but i dont consider my mom my “best friend” it never gave that, i only see her as my parent and thats that. she talks about how kids are besties with their parents but istg my mom never set up that system for me and my brothers.
she’ll never let go of the fact that i didnt wanna do nursing and i how i failed the stem classes it’s like whats the point of even going to u if you’re still gonna carry this shit on my head? now my lil brother is moving the same way how im moving, not really communication to my mom unless it’s something important and im so sorry to say but it’s literally her fault. if your kids cannot talk to you or are scared to answer a question out of fear than you are the problem.
at my big age i should not fear my mom but i am and i don’t see it changing anytime soon. thank you for listening to my ted talk.
thats it, ever since i came back from school i feel like my mental health has been going downhill. im just sick and tired of everything, school was my escape. there was a reason why i attended a school that was 2 hours away from my house when i could’ve just stayed and done community college or go to a school that’s like 20-30 mins away but my family is too much and i don’t want to be around them. (it’s really just my mom is overbearing and i cant do this anymore)
getting a job is so hard because the market is so horrendous, i just had an interview yesterday and i pray to God that i fucking get it because now that school is out, having a job and hopefully getting enough hours will keep me sane and distracted from being in this fuck ass house. i can’t believe i want a job not just for the money but just to be away from my family for a few hours, like i would rather be stuck at work than be at home rn.
i’m tired of getting the end of the stick, i cant even make mistakes or fail because i have to set an example for my brothers, it is too freaking much and i am just done.
so saturday my cousins came over because we were having a bbq and celebrating my dad’s bday. the 1st strike was when my cousin (F 19) was like “isnt your bday june 28th?” i responded with “no, it’s july 28th” then she said “do u even remember my birthday” out loud and ofc my mom gave me the side and i didn’t know what to say because i didnt remember- keep in mind we don’t really talk everyday and the last time i saw my cousins was back in december for christmas before that i have not seen them in years.
2nd strike was when my cousin out loud asked if i remember her other name (we both have the same middle name and our parents call us by our middle name, but i don’t know her first name) then my uncle (her dad) defended me by saying “did you even tell her your other name? how will she know if you didn’t tell her” which gave me a relief because again i felt like i was put on the spot and i didnt like that lol.
3rd strike is when she teased me about her lil sister and me always clinging to each other, saying how we’re keeping secrets or what not, like im sorry that your lil sister aka my baby cousin loves me so much and wants to be around me??!! idk maybe i’m bugging but i just felt like she was always trying to put me on the spot for no reason. maybe thats how she jokes because keep in mind she grew up in cameroon and came to the states 2 years ago, and i was raised in the states so maybe we have a different humor but idk.
long story short my brother is graduating high school in two days, he had his graduation rehearsal last week and got his cap and gown including the tickets (8 tickets btw) however, my brother only told my mom today about the tickets and she got upset because she wanted relatives to come to his graduation but it’s a bit too late now.
my mom called his irresponsible which is fair however my brother told me that she called him a criminal, say how he’s going to end up doing drugs and that he’s not ready for college which is lowkey mean. i know we say things when we’re mad but my mom did not have to say all that, whenever she’s stressed/angry it bring out the worst in her ngl.
it already doesn’t help that she had a stressful day at work and she was crying really bad and i tried consoling her. i fear this added on top of her stress, but i just hate how my mom is always on 10 whenever you try to talk to her and if u say something she doesn’t like and she says all these things… she told my brother that “one day ill die in my room and you guys will finally care”.
it’s like when it comes to her we have to walk on eggshells and i really hate it, because all of us feel that way when it comes to her. i still love her but damn (ty for listening to my tedtalk)
I know I made a similar post before but me and my mom got into today on how i didn’t speak to her between march- april. Back in janurary when I was at home for the break we got into it about me changing my major and it was really bad, and because in spring 2025 I didn’t do well and my mom got a letter about me being on academic probation. so because of our blow up it caused me to not call her while i was away for college, she called but i ignored her.
so you can imagine on how to lecture went… me and my mother’s relationship has always been iffy since i was a kid and im more close with my dad than anything, ik im too old to be acting like this but my mom scares me… i feel like i can’t really talk to her about anything so when i was struggling i didn’t feel the need to tell her because i was scared of her reaction and i thought i could fix my grades on my own..
i was trying to explain to my mom on why i didn’t speak to her but by her demeanor and her body language she was visibly upset and rightfully so and i told her that because of everything that happened in janurary i just felt “ashamed” to talk to her and i kept repeating myself because it was really hard at the moment to articulate myself really well i also have a learning disability so there’s that lol.
sorry if im talking in circles but i dont know what else to do everytime we have a “conversation” it doesnt go well and it makes me want to avoid her even more, i really don’t want to but its just so fucking hard to talk to her without getting yelled at or being lectured, she even said if i dont “figure things out” she won’t pay for my school fees and just to keep in mind my mom IS indeed the breadwinner but dad is just a stay at home dad :/ so i have to depend on my mom..
overall do i just idk switch back to nursing and deal with the hardships for the sake of our relationship? i want to do what i WANT to do but i can’t even do that atp.. i really get jealous about people who have good relationships with their moms because i simply don’t really have that with my own mom.
i have already made a post a few months ago about me switching my major from nursing to psychology, now that i am coming back home for the summer my dad is still trying to convince to me to do nursing but i am not going for it.
he says that my mom has been crying everyday ever since i told her i switched my major, ever since i told her that i did not want to become a nursing major anymore i feel like our relationship has gone for the worst… this semester i have not been calling my mom nor has she called me..
now that im coming back home i know that i will never hear the end of my parents complaining that im not going to get a job if i don’t stick with nursing, i just don’t want to do nursing point blank period- i just don’t want to go into a field where i am not in the least interested in.. my mom is also a family practitioner which plays a part of her wanting me to become a nurse but i just don’t want to be a nurse and i wish she can understand that.
ever since i was young me and my mom always had a rocky relationship, i feel like im more closer with my dad than my mom… i feel more comfortable talking to him than my mom because when i would talk to my mom it feels like im walking on eggshells and i know coming back home it’s going to be real awkward between me and her.