u/Plane_University2312

I’m a 25F Indian woman currently living in Europe, and my parents have started seriously looking for arranged marriage matches for me.

They constantly tell me, “Nothing will happen without your consent. If you don’t like someone, just say no.” Which sounds reasonable.

But whenever I actually say no, especially because I’m simply not physically attracted to the person, it becomes an argument. I get told that I’m too picky, looks aren’t everything, I should speak to him first, I’ll start liking him later, etc.

I’m not expecting some ridiculously handsome/model-looking husband. Personality, values, career, compatibility and family background obviously matter to me too. But I do think some basic physical attraction is necessary when I’m choosing someone I’m potentially going to spend my life with and have an intimate relationship with.

There’s another complication: my family is quite particular about caste/community.

I’m personally uncomfortable with some of their casteist thinking, but their reasoning isn’t purely about caste pride either. They strongly prefer finding someone from within our own community because they believe having known families/social networks and similar backgrounds reduces the chances of things like dowry-related harassment, abuse, major cultural clashes, or ending up with a family we know absolutely nothing about.

I understand why safety is such a huge concern for them, especially when it comes to arranged marriage in India. But because they are unwilling to widen the search much beyond our community, the pool is already pretty limited.

Then when the people within that limited pool aren't people I'm attracted to, somehow I become the problem for rejecting them.

That’s the part I struggle with.

If you restrict the pool based on caste/community, family background, horoscope, education, career, location, etc., and then also expect me to compromise heavily on physical attraction, what exactly am I allowed to have a preference about?

They still insist that they would never force me to marry someone without my consent, and I genuinely believe they wouldn’t physically force me. But when every “no” comes with guilt, lectures, emotional pressure and attempts to change my mind, it doesn’t exactly feel like my decision is being respected either.

I also don’t think it’s fair to talk to a guy for weeks when I already know from the beginning that I’m not attracted to him, just to prove to my parents that I “gave him a chance.” That seems unfair to him too.

For people who have been through the arranged-marriage process:

Am I being unreasonable for wanting physical attraction to be one of my non-negotiables?

And how do you deal with parents who say they respect your consent, but then make saying “no” emotionally exhausting?

I'm 25(f) have been suffering from undereye hollows since I was a child. The more I'm getting older the hollows become prominent.

I've consulted 4 doctors until now. 2 dermatologists said "I don't see any hollows" and neglected it as a dark circle problem. 2 who were specialised in aesthetic treatments agreed that they see a hollowing and I might need fillers or other solutions.

One of the doctors who does fat grafting explained that there are 2 fats in our face. Orbital fat(the fat that surrounds the orbital area) and the other is cheek fat. When we age as the cheek fat starts to reduce, the connection between cheek and orbital fat gets hit and that's how we start seeing hollows.

Solutions I'm considering

\- prf (read on Google)

\-prf ez gel (Google)

\- lower bleph + fat grafting (one of the doctors suggested but I'm so scared to put a knife especially near the eye area as I've read horror stories of dry eyes and lower eyelid pull and I'm so young to do lower bleph)

Ps: I asked him if we can do just fat grafting without a lower bleph. He said fat isn't a precise substance like a filler. So we cannot control its formation after injecting it. This is why a lower bleph + fat grafting is recommended. Or else we can consider filler options.

\- Pdrn- lumi eyes (another doctor aesthetician) - He mentioned that it's a skin booster and since I don't want surgery nor fillers he mentioned it as a lighter option to try it as a first base option to see if I liked the results but to not expect magic. Realistically there will be a good improvement but not as much as fillers.

Prf gel :

I asked him about prf ez gel (he said ez gel since it's a gel based consistency unlike a lower viscous fluid like a filler, it's difficult to inject it with proper precision in the under eye area as it's delicate. He needs a thicker syringe with a wider pore needle to do this since it's a gel and it might be uncomfortable during the process. But the advantage is that it's from your own blood and the results diminish after a year or two and you can get it done again.

Microneedling : When asked about microneedling he said it helps with wrinkles, crepy skin etc but not with hollows. It can make under eye thicker a bit not not make the hollows go away.

Every procedure has pros and cons. I'm just overwhelmed at this point. If somebody has any suggestions, I would gladly appreciate and take it. Thanks a ton for all your answers in advance!

I'm(25f) confused- Parents say they’ll never force me into an arranged marriage, but constantly pressure me when I reject someone

Searching solutions for under eye hollows