u/PlantainLeading8116

I’m 27F and the last two years have been honestly brutal and I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding dramatic but it’s just been a lot.

I lost a friend group after leaving a community my ex was part of. And once I left, I realized it wasn’t really what I thought it was. Nobody really checked in, nobody really cared, it just kind of dissolved and I was left with nothing.

My relationship around the same time was… not good. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t secure, it was me constantly anxious and him giving me the bare minimum. No effort, no emotional safety, no real care. And I stayed way too long because I kept thinking I could somehow fix it or that it would turn into what I wanted if I just tried harder. It didn’t. And now I constantly think he is doing better than me, but he was such an avoidant partner it ruined me.

Now I’ve deleted social media, I’m trying to focus on myself, and I’ll be starting a job again after moving back home and leaving the country for a bit. But I feel really isolated. My friends are either in long-term relationships or far away, and I’m just kind of here by myself a lot of the time.

I know I’m supposed to say I “learned a lot” and I guess I have, about my attachment style, about not centering my life around someone else, about how people can disappoint you in ways you don’t expect.

But honestly right now it just feels like I lost everything at once and I don’t really know how people rebuild from this stage without feeling like it’s going to stay like this forever.

How do you actually trust that it gets better when you’re in it?

I’m 27F and the last two years have been honestly brutal and I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding dramatic but it’s just been a lot.

I lost a friend group after leaving a community my ex was part of. And once I left, I realized it wasn’t really what I thought it was. Nobody really checked in, nobody really cared, it just kind of dissolved and I was left with nothing.

My relationship around the same time was… not good. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t secure, it was me constantly anxious and him giving me the bare minimum. No effort, no emotional safety, no real care. And I stayed way too long because I kept thinking I could somehow fix it or that it would turn into what I wanted if I just tried harder. It didn’t. And now I constantly think he is doing better than me, but he was such an avoidant partner it ruined me.

Now I’ve deleted social media, I’m trying to focus on myself, and I’ll be starting a job again after moving back home and leaving the country for a bit. But I feel really isolated. My friends are either in long-term relationships or far away, and I’m just kind of here by myself a lot of the time.

I know I’m supposed to say I “learned a lot” and I guess I have, about my attachment style, about not centering my life around someone else, about how people can disappoint you in ways you don’t expect.

But honestly right now it just feels like I lost everything at once and I don’t really know how people rebuild from this stage without feeling like it’s going to stay like this forever.

How do you actually trust that it gets better when you’re in it?