u/Plastic-Fig1924

Due to character limits everywhere I listen to Mark I figured here was a good spot to post this story because its important to me and maybe someone needs to hear this.

Mark covered a story about 3 ish months ago. It was about a woman whos fiancee was being shady and was trying to baby trap her. In the story the woman discussed her fears around pregnancy (100% valid, my sister has these fears) and "not being able to love the child unconditionally" (also 100% valid).

I don't think anybody talked about it in OPs comments, and I also didn't see this in any of the comments sections of his other platforms. But we as humans have a weird romantic way of viewing unconditional. We often see it as a through fire and flame type of love. Do anything for the person or die trying. But I don't think thats unconditional. OP in her story already showed she's capable of unconditional love. She loves her dog, and from what I can tell she loves her family. For me thats what unconditional. The dog doesnt do anything, shoot the dog might even pee on your shoes and you'll get mad but you won't rehome it. Its your dog.

We often see the "miracle of childbirth" and put this hard expectation on ourselves, and even each other sometimes, of we're supposed instantaneously love this weird potato human and kiss the ground they walk on. And how dare someone think otherwise.

But I feel its really important to say "its okay you dont feel that way immediately". Its okay to see the infant and go "man youre kind of wrinkly and a little ugly". Its also okay to look at the baby and go "this is an absolute complete stranger". It takes time to get to know them because they are a stranger. Its also completely normal to go "I dont know what the hell i am doing. What if I hold it wrong??" Those skills don't always come pre-installed.

Its also okay to want to punt them. Believe me. Just don't...ya know...actually do it. 😅

They're going to go through phases where you think they are the worst things in the world and probably want to return to sender. Lol. Or honestly, even hate them. When you're overstimulated and they scream in your face that one final ear piercing pterodactyl screech because they 3 and thats what 3 year olds do. Or when they've kept you awake for the 4th day in a row because they need to wake up every 2 hours for something and you feel like youre losing your gd mind. Or when they're 16 years old and saying some of the worst things and youre looking at them like they've suddenly grown 4 heads and wondering "where did you learn that?"

And at some point, you might not like them and not want to talk to them or be in their lives. Thats okay too, adults can suck just as much 😮‍💨

So the tl;dr. Kids can suck, its not all sunshines and rainbows, its okay to not like them even if theyre yours, and unconditional love as we know it is a lie 🤣

And before anybody says this: sucky adults dont always come from sucky parents. At every point in a child's life you cannot control how they think, or see the world. All you can do is try your best to explain things, and teach. But if they dont want to learn you cant force them. And if you do try to force them and try to control how they see the world then YOU become the sucky adult. There will ALWAYS be outside influences that will contribute to how they end up in life.