To work or not to work?
When Hubby and I got married, he told me he would prefer if I stayed home and let him provide for us, although he would understand if I wanted to work, and it was my choice. I tried the SAHM thing, but it drove me nuts, so after a few years I found a job I loved. I worked full time for about 20 years, then Hubby was diagnosed with vascular dementia and the neurologist was worried about his safety being home alone all day. We went through the intake process to get a home health aide for him, but the first time the aide showed up at the door Hubby, who is very introverted, threw him out. Getting another home health aide was out of the question so I left my job and found a part time one where I only work about four hours a day, three or four times a week.
The job is a back office job and is pretty mundane, but I like my coworkers, and it gets me out of the house and makes me feel useful. I make sure Hubby is up and has breakfast and morning meds before I leave, and he makes his own lunch when I am gone. I make dinner and give him his evening meds when I get home. This has worked well for awhile, but his dementia is progressing. Now when I come home, I often find scorched food left in the pots from when he made lunch, spills on the counter and floor, and dirty dishes all over the house. He is not a wanderer, so I am not worried about him leaving the house and getting lost, and he is not a fall risk, although he is moving around a lot slower.
I am feeling pretty stressed right now because on the one hand, I feel like hubby needs me at home, but on the other hand I need to be around other people and feel productive and useful. He needs me to quit my job, but working outside of the house is better for my mental health. Financially we'd be OK if I stopped working, as Hubby's retirement and SSA cover the bills. (I'd have to cut way down on my Amazon purchases, though. 😄)
Is it selfish to want to keep working? What other options do I have, though?
