AITAH for having a party on my friends birthday?
My (F) birthday is on Halloween, while my friend (F) is on the 28th. I want to start of by saying while we used to be sorta close we aren’t really anymore and she was invited more as a formality. Originally, i was going to have my birthday party on the 29th…but because of work stuff the only day i could have it was the 28th, so i changed it. I only realised when one of my other friends told me in passing that it was her birthday. I was going to say something to her but then i got really sick and lowkey just forgot all about it. I was in school and she sits on my table, and starts getting really angry about it to me. Obviously i told her id see what i could do to change to another day, but i haven’t been able to.
The day she said this all to me i sent her a paragraph apolagising and trying to explain the situation.
(Also I’ve been told by multiple people that she told them she never intended on having a party le any friends over/ go out with anyone that day)
Its been two weeks since this, and she’s left me in delivered since (im guessing she’s half swiping but i don’t want to assume). I also found out she’s talked shit about me both before and after our encounter and and wont even look at me since. I would talk to her but I’ve gotten too scared to since she cant even make eye contact when she sits across from me, so I’ve just been praying she’ll respond to my message. (I know i should talk to her sooner i just have no balls) im worried that if i ask her can we talk she’ll just say no.
Honestly from the moment she said it to me i feel like i am in the wrong, the only thing that i feel iffy about is the fact she went and talked about it to my friends before me, and the fact that I’ve talked to those girls and they’ve all said she’s just being Hella dramatic…like girl i get jt people have party’s on my birthday all the time!! My sister also thinks she’s treating me like the shit on her shoe.
Im going to ask her if we can talk about it tomorrow and apolagise again, but all my friends have been saying not to and idk what to do! I really cant tell if im in the wrong here and don’t know what i can do to make it right.
EDIT!!
I forgot to mention but i have a twin sister and we’re doing a joint party, so its the only day that suits her as well, I’ve been trying to get her to change it but she wont budge… tysm to all the replies!
what i texted her:
IM SO SO SO SORRY idk what it is about birthdays i don’t even know my parents, and i don’t know why i keep forgetting yours. I talked to my parents and M(my sister) about it but my parents have work the next day and the days after so we can’t change it. I know it sounds so like I’m lying but I promise I’m not and I’ve really took all this to heart but I’m so so sorry. I’m so sorry I never asked you or even told you before hand but I didn’t realise until like two days ago when A(mutual friend) mentioned it to me but I still should’ve said something to you then. I get it if this puts a rift in our friendship or you don’t want to talk to me for a while you have every right to be angry with me, and if u want to have a party that night or just have a friends over obvi they should go to yours instead. I’d still love you there but I 100% get if you don’t want to come. Idk why I’ve gotten so forgetful but I should’ve gone to you not the other way round. again I’m so so so sorry and I love you so so much.
I’m still gonna try get them to change the date but my parents r too stubborn for their own good I’ll lyk tmr im also srry if I’ve made this a big deal i just care a lot about our friendship
also forgot to say she was out the next day of school (Friday) so i didn’t get to speak to her then just got too scared to (i know that’s shitty of me)