u/PopFabulous1960

Hello everyone, one of my highschool friends is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid, we're 8 in total.

We're very close to the wedding (October, 2026) but we're starting to plan the bachelorette and day of the wedding stuff, as she asked us to be bridesmaids 2-3 weeks ago.

My main questions/issues are the following:

1. I'm a MUA and I already offered to do the bridesmaids makeup, I'd like to charge a small amount for materials and time but I have 2 friends who are also bridesmaids whom I'd like to do their make up for free, would it be acceptable to send a general message to the bridesmaids group telling them about the small charge and a separate to my other friends saying I'd like to do their makeup for free?
2. There's already 2 bridesmaids that haven't said or vote in the groupchat, regarding the bachelorette trip date and a zoom meeting to discuss details, how should the rest of us handle this? 1 of them is the bride's cousin and the other one is a friend the rest of us haven't met.
3. One of the bridesmaids is the bride's neighbor who's close to the MOB, she told us MOB wants to be part of the trip along with the brides aunts but when speaking to the bride, she already knows and wouldn't be comfortable with that... I already suggested she talks to MOB and tell her that traditionally (we're Mexican and the bride is Mexican-American) MOB and her family usually throw a bridal shower, there's no update on this, how should this topic be handled from now on? I don't want the bride to feel uncomfortable and don't want the other bridesmaid to push on this matter...

Any other advide/tip you can give me will be appreciated! Thank you!

There’s this guy I’ve known for around 3 years. We always had mutual attraction/tension, but the timing was always wrong — one of us was dating someone else, emotionally unavailable, etc. We openly admitted we liked each other multiple times over the years.

Recently we were both finally single, so we started actually going out. He initiated a lot at first, planned dates, picked me up, paid for dinner, we kissed, spent hours talking, and overall it felt very intentional and emotionally mature.

At one point I directly told him I didn’t want things to become physical if this was only going to be “for a while” or casual. I told him I liked him and wanted to genuinely get to know him, but that I didn’t want to end up confused or hurt. He said he understood, said he also wanted to keep getting to know each other and didn't want to hurt me, but also admitted that “in the short term” he couldn’t offer me a relationship. I actually thought it was just bc he just ended a 2-year relationship a few months aho

After that, things started feeling… different.

He still responds, he’s still kind, but the energy shifted. I started becoming the one saying “I want to see you,” asking about plans, initiating contact, while he mostly responds/reacts instead of actively pursuing me the way he did before.

At some point he disappeared for a few days after we had gotten emotionally/physically closer and I genuinely thought I got ghosted. He eventually replied saying he got distracted/busy, but ever since then I can’t shake the feeling that something changed after things became more “real.”

What’s messing with my head is that this wasn’t some random guy. This was YEARS of mutual attraction and “I like yous.” So now I’m stuck wondering:

• did he only like the idea/tension/fantasy?
• did I idealize him because of the history?
• is this just a slow burn situation and I’m overreacting?
• or am I ignoring the obvious signs that he’s emotionally unavailable?

I’m trying really hard not to repeat old patterns or chase someone emotionally unavailable, but I also don’t want to sabotage something potentially good just because I’m anxious.

Would appreciate honest outside perspectives.