In specifics, if it was something wildly different like midnight vs 2pm or something, what should the reading be based off of?
What I mean by contagious is that if I read about someone else's compulsions or routines, there's a good chance I keep thinking about it and eventually start emulating those compulsions myself. When the possibility of me having OCD was first brought up, I started reading the book Because We Are Bad by Lily Bailey and had to stop because I started doing a lot of the things she was describing.
On top of that, the compulsions that I already have also get worse and I start doing them WAY more than before. This kind of makes it difficult for me to look anything up about OCD because I know that my brain likes to pick things up along the way.
Is this common?
Lemme start off by saying that I do NOT hate mag. I love magnetizing powers, I love the look of her heirloom and some of her tennogen skins, and I love the effects that she has. I've been playing ever since 2017 and she's just never... clicked for me.
I WANT to like her, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what the appeal of her is and what specifically makes her stand out from the crowd. In my own experience, she seems to excel either really early on as a support & damage frame or really LATER on like level cap, where a lot of nuke frames drop off.
edit: i should mention that the main builds i've been trying are common youtube one like low duration breach surge build or arcane arachne polarize with nourish ones
NO SHE ISN'T LMFAOO
i watched brokeback mountain for the first time last night. it devastated me and i think it forced me to confront the ways that ive been afraid lately.
i think about how much my family pretends im not gay. i’m not even hiding that im dating my boyfriend and it’s obvious that they know. it’s been 3 years. my mom acknowledges it the same way you’d acknowledge someone’s secret cat in a no-pets lease.
i think about how someone can look you in your face and tell you that they think people like you are predatory and be surprised when you don’t accept their excuses
i think about how many people will sit idly by and let things happen to you
i think about how much that’s shaped me.
i think about how the feeling of shame follows me throughout my entire life
i think about how paralyzing it is to stare down the barrel of a gun that they created filled with bullets of your own thoughts
i think about how my pieces of brain matter splatter on the wall and how the thoughts and the shame don’t leave with them
i think about how the body doesn’t rot and there’s something irreversibly missing
i think about how my seat will never be empty.
i think about how nobody came to clean me up
i think about how im still there
i think about how i will never go away.
