Pasangala - Can we talk?
Attention everyone :) Anaivarukkum
vanakkam :)
Boys and girls , can we talk about something other than Relationship rant or Finding difficulty with our having a GF or Perspective about this story?
Chumma oru casual talk.
I am pretty much new to reddit and the only reason i got comfortable with using reddit is because of this sub reddit (Tamil yapping) , every morning i scroll, it became a habit of visiting this page, talking to people here and i kinda liked the vibe :)
But konja naal ah paakuren…. Between every few posts i only see
24M. Never had a girlfriend.
Ellarum committed except me.
Life feels lonely.
Where do you even meet women?
Ennoda story share panren - unga perspective enna?
And yes loneliness is real. Wanting love, intimacy, companionship, someone to text at 1 AM is completely understandable.
But sometimes I wonder whether we’re treating having a girlfriend as proof that our life has finally started. Especially as youngsters, many of us grow up in a weird setup.
School padikirappo : Girls kooda pesaadha. Padippu mukkiyam.
College la: restrictions, awkwardness, engineering department gender ratio 💀
After college: “Ennada? Innum ponnu kedaikalaya?”
So for years we’re discouraged from naturally socialising with the opposite gender and suddenly at 23–27 we’re expected to magically know flirting, dating, communication, confidence, boundaries, emotional intelligence and relationships.
Of course some of us are struggling. 😂 But here’s the part I think we don’t discuss enough:
Maybe your biggest problem isn’t that you don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe you don’t have a LIFE where meeting people happens naturally.
Na summa oru kelvi kekuren :) When was the last time you
- Made a new friend without expecting romance.
2.Joined something because you genuinely enjoyed it?
3.Travelled somewhere with friends or even alone?
- Learned to comfortably talk to women without mentally converting every conversation into potential GF angle?
5.Built a social circle outside school/work?
6.Became someone you would find interesting?
Because imagine getting a girlfriend tomorrow.
After the initial butterflies disappear… what does your life actually contain?
Ennoda experience la solren :)
A relationship can add a lot to your life.
It cannot become your entire life.
And Girls - Neenga sollunga… I’m curious about your side too.
Do you feel guys our age approach normal friendships with too much romantic expectation? Are our men actually struggling socially, or are we exaggerating it online?
And guys who went from socially awkward/lonely to actually having a good social life:
What changed?
Not necessarily how did you get a GF?
I mean - how did you build friendships, confidence, hobbies, circles, conversations and an actual enjoyable life?
Would genuinely love to hear different perspectives.
The reason i wrote this post is because maybe instead of another 500-comment discussion about “How to get a girlfriend?”
we need one about:
How do we build a good social life as adults?
Summa pesi dhan papome :)
Am listening 🙌