u/Positive_Cry_4845

Hey everyone, wanted to share my personal experience. I have been going through a really rough breakup, my ex discarded me right before I was due to have surgery for an ovarian tumour + other diagnoses I had received at the same time.

As you can imagine this really crushed me because it was coming on top of other things I had been dealing with in life, and the shock of my ex being completely different to who I knew during the relationship really messed with me.

I already have ADHD (I take vyvanse) and OCD, so the rumination and spiral I went into, considering I couldn't do anything but doomscroll post-surgery, was really dark. Super dark and hopeless thoughts. I've lost 6kg over a month, left the house maybe a handful of times, crying all the time uncontrollably, and isolating.

Finally made an appointment to see my psychiatrist and I started lexapro on 5mg yesterday. I am still super nervous because I tried zoloft last year and on day 3 started vomiting & having really bad heart palpitations and had to be taken to the ER.

I took my first dose at 11am yesterday and didn't feel anything. Towards evening, I noticed I was a bit more comfortable at dinner and being out of the house and my thoughts were not as loud about my ex. She did keep coming up (and still does) but I find myself "trying" something new and just saying to myself "I don't want to think about that now". That thought I can pause, even if new ones come up. I'm not getting sucked into it endlessly.

I didn't sleep a wink last night, but I noticed in that half-tired state my thoughts were flooding in, and they weren't negative! For the first time in months, I started imagining a future again. I also had some really obscure memories come up, like roads I had driven down in a different city over a decade ago...memories that i hadn't thought of since I had lived the event, I suppose. It was so interesting.

Like i said, so far it's only been 1 day and 1 pill, but i suspect my serotonin must have been so depleted with the surgery, ADHD, OCD, betrayal, shock, lack of food, vyvanse, etc, that the difference was apparently so quickly.

Overall i'm feeling hopeful again and really crossing my fingers that I don't get a bad gut reaction to this like i did with zoloft. I'll be back to update soon again.

If you have any advice/feedback on nausea and timing of the medication or anything else, i'm all ears.

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Positive effects from day 1