u/Possible_Bad_6033

I’ve been thinking about this deeply because I feel like this situation is more common than people admit. Sometimes a guy becomes really emotionally attached to a girl, not immediately in a romantic way at first, but through constant talking, emotional comfort, understanding each other, and slowly becoming important in each other’s lives. Over time, he starts feeling connected to her so deeply that her happiness, attention, and presence begin to matter a lot to him emotionally.

But when she already has a boyfriend, something strange starts happening inside him. Even if he respects her relationship and doesn’t want to ruin it, he still feels sad sometimes. He starts comparing himself with the boyfriend without even wanting to. He keeps wondering why she trusts her boyfriend more, why she feels more comfortable with him, or why that person has a deeper emotional place in her life. Sometimes it feels painful because the boyfriend started as a stranger too, yet now he means everything to her while the best friend feels like he can never reach that level no matter how much he cares.

I think the painful part is not always romance itself. Sometimes the guy mainly wants to feel deeply valued, emotionally important, and irreplaceable to someone. He wants to feel like his presence truly matters in her life. But because there is already a boyfriend, he starts feeling “late,” like someone else already occupies the emotional position he secretly wishes he had. That can create jealousy, insecurity, sadness, overthinking, and emotional dependence even when the guy genuinely has good intentions.

The confusing part is that the guy may not even want to be toxic or possessive. He may genuinely care about her comfort and happiness, but internally he still feels hurt whenever he realizes there are emotional boundaries with him that don’t exist with the boyfriend. Then he starts questioning himself, wondering if he is not enough, if he is too emotionally attached, or if he is just seeking validation and importance from one person too much.

I want to understand why this happens psychologically. Is this emotional attachment? Loneliness? Validation seeking? Insecurity? Or is this just a normal human reaction when someone becomes emotionally important to you? And how does someone handle these feelings in a healthy way without becoming emotionally overwhelming or hurting themselves emotionally?

Note: I know it's hard to read this much but please can anyone give me clarity why it's happening like this and what should i do in this???
Thank you very much for your guidance and response. Have a very nice day.

I’ve been thinking about this deeply because I feel like this situation is more common than people admit. Sometimes a guy becomes really emotionally attached to a girl, not immediately in a romantic way at first, but through constant talking, emotional comfort, understanding each other, and slowly becoming important in each other’s lives. Over time, he starts feeling connected to her so deeply that her happiness, attention, and presence begin to matter a lot to him emotionally.

But when she already has a boyfriend, something strange starts happening inside him. Even if he respects her relationship and doesn’t want to ruin it, he still feels sad sometimes. He starts comparing himself with the boyfriend without even wanting to. He keeps wondering why she trusts her boyfriend more, why she feels more comfortable with him, or why that person has a deeper emotional place in her life. Sometimes it feels painful because the boyfriend started as a stranger too, yet now he means everything to her while the best friend feels like he can never reach that level no matter how much he cares.

I think the painful part is not always romance itself. Sometimes the guy mainly wants to feel deeply valued, emotionally important, and irreplaceable to someone. He wants to feel like his presence truly matters in her life. But because there is already a boyfriend, he starts feeling “late,” like someone else already occupies the emotional position he secretly wishes he had. That can create jealousy, insecurity, sadness, overthinking, and emotional dependence even when the guy genuinely has good intentions.

The confusing part is that the guy may not even want to be toxic or possessive. He may genuinely care about her comfort and happiness, but internally he still feels hurt whenever he realizes there are emotional boundaries with him that don’t exist with the boyfriend. Then he starts questioning himself, wondering if he is not enough, if he is too emotionally attached, or if he is just seeking validation and importance from one person too much.

I want to understand why this happens psychologically. Is this emotional attachment? Loneliness? Validation seeking? Insecurity? Or is this just a normal human reaction when someone becomes emotionally important to you? And how does someone handle these feelings in a healthy way without becoming emotionally overwhelming or hurting themselves emotionally?

Note: I know it's hard to read this much but please can anyone give me clarity why it's happening like this and what should i do in this???
Thank you very much for your guidance and response. Have a very nice day.

Does anyone know when and how these non gate admissions will be accepted or offered for btech iits student after application form being accepted and is under reviewing from cse department?? If anyone has any idea plz do comment. or if anything related to IITK mtech cse got released plz tell me.

Thank you all for helping me out.