u/Potential-Button-164

Asalamu3lakom,

We have been married 17 years and have children. The last several years have been terrible. Many issues too many to talk about now. I have gone back to my parents home multiple times but ended up going back to him because I was scared of the word divorce. To break apart our family and children raised in different homes. My husband has a terrible temper. The smallest thing sets him off and he will destroy anything Around him me and the children are his main targets. After her calms down he will come back and act like nothing happened. Or that his behavior was because of me and it’s my fault. He’ll buy gifts and act nice until the next explosion.

On to our current situation, I am at my parents house again after an argument got out of hand. He had been saying he wants a divorce and that he’s absolutely done with me this time. Per our local sheikh he said this is officially an Islamic divorce and should be dealt like it and I was in the eddah period. Now that my husband sees what his behavior has caused he now says he wants to reconcile. Before he didn’t even want to wait the three months. He wanted to divorce right away. He has verbally attacked everyone on my side slandered me and them as well. He makes up accusations about me and treats me poorly. But then will try to act remorseful and beg for forgiveness. Promised he would change.

But this time I won’t go back. I told him I’m done. Some family say give him one more chance. Others say leave. But every time I leave and go back I say this is the last chance. I don’t want to divorce but I know he will not change. I know the best thing for me and the children is to leave. I hope he will fix himself to be a better father. But I am struggling internally. The pain is too much. I have make Salah istikara before and it was a clear sign to leave. I make dua in sujood if this marriage is good for me make it easy, if not facilitate the end. And Allah swt is making it clear. Why do I want to stay when I know I should leave.

Asalamu3lakom,

We have been married 17 years and have children. The last several years have been terrible. Many issues too many to talk about now. I have gone back to my parents home multiple times but ended up going back to him because I was scared of the word divorce. To break apart our family and children raised in different homes. My husband has a terrible temper. The smallest thing sets him off and he will destroy anything Around him me and the children are his main targets. After her calms down he will come back and act like nothing happened. Or that his behavior was because of me and it’s my fault. He’ll buy gifts and act nice until the next explosion.

On to our current situation, I am at my parents house again after an argument got out of hand. He had been saying he wants a divorce and that he’s absolutely done with me this time. Per our local sheikh he said this is officially an Islamic divorce and should be dealt like it and I was in the eddah period. Now that my husband sees what his behavior has caused he now says he wants to reconcile. Before he didn’t even want to wait the three months. He wanted to divorce right away. He has verbally attacked everyone on my side slandered me and them as well. He makes up accusations about me and treats me poorly. But then will try to act remorseful and beg for forgiveness. Promised he would change.

But this time I won’t go back. I told him I’m done. Some family say give him one more chance. Others say leave. But every time I leave and go back I say this is the last chance. I don’t want to divorce but I know he will not change. I know the best thing for me and the children is to leave. I hope he will fix himself to be a better father. But I am struggling internally. The pain is too much. I have make Salah istikara before and it was a clear sign to leave. I make dua in sujood if this marriage is good for me make it easy, if not facilitate the end. And Allah swt is making it clear. Why do I want to stay when I know I should leave.