u/Potential_Net_3008

For as long as I can remember, I have always been an asocial and apathetic person since childhood, who was quite rude in places or straightforward, who did not let people get close to him and did not like to communicate, did not like the fun of other kids, often immersed in himself and drew on the back desk or read something.

Now I'm 20 years old and little has changed, except that as a teenager I denied and did not understand my ability to love or be attached, now I still understand, especially after the last relationship, that I know how to love and feel, I always had feelings, but they were deep and complex, which are difficult to form as simply in expression and intimate as undressing in front of someone, so I always wrote about them and cried alone, but did not show anyone

People wanted to be friends with me, but I refused. Because I often didn't like social roles or groups of people; I felt uncomfortable and out of place there.

I mean test can be not accurate but who khows

I'm a pretty nerdy alter musician guy who has many ideas and prospects for promoting himself, is quite curious about any discussion or conversation on any topic or creativity and development in different directions, from game design to music, poetry, literature maybe even directing, I believe that nothing is impossible for who you want to build yourself and what kind of life you want to build, and even though I seem imaginative or quirky to many, it allows me to see more clearly and more diversely

I am a rather quiet, melancholic and thoughtful, detached person who constantly feels out of place as if looking at the world slightly * Metaphysically * sometimes it seems that I see trends and people, their reasons for behavior and the reason for the emergence of trends and their motives, sometimes I think too much about myself and my actions or what drives me, that literally every month I am like a different person, my views change and rethink quite quickly just if I talk to myself,

Many people call me a quirky, philosophical, lonely, grumpy old man in his own universe, who listens to Radiohead and plays Garry's Mod, coming up with weird plots or gadgets lol

The hardest thing for me has always been fitting into society, probably because I don’t quite understand how the world works or in what direction it moves outside of my field of vision. It’s like not knowing that the earth revolves around you and living with the thought that it stands still.

It's not that I had any incredibly serious problems with this, rather it just created awkward situations of an alien not from this planet, even if I start chewing my thoughts, they are never clear to anyone, probably because of too detailed or figurative descriptions of them

Why creativity? Probably because this is the only space where I can speak in the language that is most comfortable for me, the language of images and a certain tortuousness, like a language of bending steel, which is transformed into a column. At the same time, I am not averse to fashion, shocking behavior and expressing myself on stage as a punk or rock artist, with sharp movements and antics, probably because my songs are full of sadness and disgust for myself, society and politics, which I often criticized even as a schoolboy (now I'm 20). Now this has turned into awareness rather than an impulse, but still with a certain demonstrativeness and small knives of protest in titles like - God is dead - in which I criticize religion and obedience to it, giving myself over to some abstract understanding of God as a savior and healer, I never liked the idea of farewell…But in general, I perceive it more as an encyclopedia of my internal language or state, it is like a diagnosis of emotions and their transformation into exhibition paintings or the creation of their body.

The world often spins quite strangely for me, or rather, as if it doesn’t spin at all, you just have to think about the dynamics, probably because I’m not interested in TikTok and other things, I maintain my Instagram, but it’s limited to my photos and self-expression, fooling around and thoughts that, apart from something that I don’t fully understand, it’s like living inside a bubble

I also have quite high values and views, I am quite steadfast and idealistic, so I see some kind of line that I should preferably adhere to, regarding ecology or animals, I feel responsible for this in a sense and actively support it.

hellow

Are you a cold INFP?