u/Pothperhaps

Basically the title. Looking for some solidarity, or stories about how you guys deal with this.

I'm freshly home with a new baby, and a toddler. I've got one family member who won't stop buying the toddler toys. Its very kind and i love how much they love our kid, it's just really frustrating because we don't want our house overrun with toys. Developmentally it's so much better for them to have less overall. And less stimulating toys. We want less plastic, all that stuff. I've been making acceptions left and right for Toy Buyer. Because it really isn't the end of the world and we manage to stow away the majority of them so Toddler and household aren't constantly overwhelmed by them. But like, I've not been able to buy my kid more than a handful of the toys I'd like them to have because Toy Buyer has taken up all of our available space with their purchases. So that's frustrating and like, mixed feelings because i also feel bad for being moody about it at all. So that's one thing.

Next, one of my parents has been staying with us, and their thing is food, and screen time. I've made it abundantly clear literally hundreds of times that we don't overindulge in junk food. We try very hard to eat at least semi healthy. And I, and others in my family, have a history of EDs which makes me even more sensitive about it. This parent cannot stop thinking about or talking about food. They are constantly searching for any possible chance they can take to buy food. And they literally throw a toddler style fit if they are asked to just like, tolerate being served any food that contains a vegetable. So you can imagine the type of food they're buying. In fact imagine it. It's worse. It's no wonder i have such a bad relationship with food. And I've worked my ASS off for my kid to have a good relationship with it. So, again. Sensitive subject for me.

Then there's the screen addiction. The social media and shopping addictions. If my parent isn't looking for food to buy. They're either on facebook, scrolling through reels. Which again. Ive made very clear i want nothing to do with. How unhealthy it is. How much i honestly just don't fucking care or want to hear about these thirty 15 second videos. Half of which are ai slop or obviously scams. They'll prod until they get me to watch one video that they think is just the best thing they've ever seen. Then that's not good enough. They'll continue to scroll and "oh look at this one that just popped up" for ages after. I am very upfront, again, that im not interested. I'd rather spend my time doing literally anything else. So they'll move on to the next thing. Scrolling through their various shopping apps and literally just listing off every single thing to me. And "oh look. Refrigerators are on sale!" I ask why do they want to sit and scroll through all these things when they have no need, want, or intention of buying any of it. They say "why not? It's just interesting. Im just curious " and go on and on listing off things. And they don't understand why i don't find that ro be engaging conversation. Literally being a human ad.

Then my partner. They go through phases where they get overwhelmed with life, and they start to check out. That being, ear phones in, eyes glued to the phone screen. At. Every. Available. Opportunity. Watching whatever bullshit youtube their algorithm hands them. We've had so many talks about it. And it just comes back and comes back. And i know its their way of dealing with all the overwhelm but fuck. You guys. Im surrounded by my loving, supportive family. And i feel so fucking alone. I feel so angry. So hurt. Like me and my kids aren't enough. Like no one wants to be HERE with me and my beautiful babies. I'm constantly asking my partner to be here. Please just be here. Please fucking talk to me. Please play with your toddler. Please hold your newborn. Please take your fucking ear piece out so you can hear me begging for help, or just for any semblance of a normal conversation.

Yesterday i asked them to be here with me and our toddler while we eat a meal. I put music on. I let them choose the music. Toddler was jamming. It was very cute. They chose a couple songs, and immediately went back on their phone after listening to maybe half of one song and they'd finished their meal so they left the table. Because they didn't care about enjoying family meal time. They've been eating alone in a different room for every meal and snack because thats more phone time they can get. Anyway, they left the table after i asked once again for them to put the phone away and be PRESENT with their child during mealtime. They left and put the phone away. And pulled out a book. And read for maybe an hour or smth. They didn't notice me turn off the music. Didn't notice their child and my own saddness that he left. Didn't notice anything because they just can't stand to be here with us. It seems like no one can and i don't understand if I'm just hormonal. Or if I'm some huge bitch thats making people want to go away so badly they use any excuse at all to disassociate. Or if its just the world we live in. And this is how it is everywhere.

I just want to enjoy our family together. No one is listening to me BEGGING for the constant compumption to stop. And for being actually here and present to start. It's making me start to go into my own world too. Which is so hypocritical and awful feeling. No one will have any sort of meaningful conversation with me so ive started to just sit and scroll reddit while i feed the baby. Or when everyone else is occupied with their devices. Because im stuck more often than not. Being still to weak to be able to get and do much yet.

Sorry this is so long. I just really needed to get that out somewhere or im going to explode and make my family upset when they've been nothing but loving and supportive this whole time. I really do appreciate them and all of the care and help they give. I love them all and I'd never trade any of them for the world. It just starts to feel so shallow when this is my constant day to day experience.

Hey guys. We are officially joining the club with a 14m age gap!

My question for you all: what did you do that helped your oldest adjust to this crazy new chapter in their life?

I've done a lot of reading up on child development, tons of experience from working in childcare. So I'm no stranger to this phase and I know a lot of what we are currently experiencing is completely normal and to be expected. But I'd love to hear from other parents what has been working vs what has not.

For extra context 14mo has been mostly happy/ normal until mom is around them, or if dad holds new baby. Dad can be around and mom can hold baby and all seems pretty normal

But when we trade off, and mom tries to play with 14m, and dad holds baby, things get hairy fast. This is in addition to normal new sibling woes we have been expecting. Would love to hear your thoughts!

Super pregnant, tiny parent with a young toddler here.

There is a woman who often walks a very large, unruly dog in front of my house and around the nearby neighborhood. The dog yanks this woman around to where I'm not confident she could actually stop them if they decide they really want to go after something.

To make things worse, the dog only seems to act aggressively towards small children or other small dogs/animals. They bark, growl, and snarl and try to charge whenever they see my toddler. If my partner and I are walking together, i mean even just from our house to our car, the will ignore my partner and yank the woman towards me and my child. The woman always crosses the street to keep her distance, thankfully. She yanks on the leash and yells at the dog to "be nice" but that doesn't have much effect. It's terrifying that in those moments the only thing between my family and this huge aggressive dog is that woman and and this little leash. And it's targeting my child specifically.

We do our best to avoid them. But it's frightening, even being in our own yard when this dog walks by. We don't go outside if we see them walking, we'll wait till they've gone well past. But that's not always possible.

I'm looking for kind of general advice, not just about this dog, because they are far from the only mean dog around.

What would you do, as a very vulnerable person, in a situation like this where a large, aggressive dog DOES break free and charges you, your young toddler or newborn? Im trying to imagine what i could possibly do with a 1 year old and a newborn in a stroller, trying to walk to a park. Or even just playing in our yard, or walking across the street to the car.