I thought I was a lesbian.. Now I'm dating a man
Hey girls. I have been feeling really alone in my situation and would love to talk to or just know if someone has ever been in a similar situation. I had my first partner/gf when I was 16 and I have known I liked women since I was 12. I dated my ex-gf for 3 years and tried to date men after her for maybe 3-6 months, but I couldn't get myself to like any of them. I went back to women and decided (happily) that I was a lesbian. I finally embraced who I was and found community among other lesbians.
Then comes my co-worker (spoiler, this is not my current bf). We became really close over the course of working together (known each other about 6 months or so), and we also started hanging out outside of work. Soon, I realized I had feelings for him. We were also physical, and I did enjoy it. This made me question everything.
Because of the co-worker situation, I decided to give guys one more chance. Soon after hooking up with my co-worker (co-worker and I did not work out for unrelated reasons), I met my bf Sam (fake name). He is the most lovely boy I have ever met, and we have been together for around 3 months now. The only problem is I am still struggling.
Sometimes I find myself falling in love with Sam, other times I feel completely uninterested in being in a romantic relationship with him. This is my first bf ever and first time dating a man since I have dated women exclusively for around 5 years now. I'm scared I won't be able to fall in love with Sam. I have only ever loved my very first ex-gf, and I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I do not want to get back with her (it's been almost a year since we talked and two years since the breakup), but I'm struggling.
What do I do? Am I alone in this? What other bisexuals have had this issue? I have a strong preference for women, but Sam is the kindness, cutest, and more emotionally intelligent man I have ever met, so why can't I daydream about my future with him? Is it just too early in the relationship?
Context: I've had 3 official relationships: first ex gf was 3 years long, second ex gf was 2 months, and current bf is ongoing 3 months
Please help me feel less alone. I only really want advice from women who have gone through something similar thank you ❤️ This is also only my second time using Reddit bare with me