u/PresaCanario20

Hi everyone,

Is it safe to do a cord cutting ritual on my ex when we have a child together? I just want to cut my emotional connections with him as they’re very strong. I was experiencing domestic abuse from him and I was deeply trauma bonded…
I’ve separated from him for 6 months now! But I still am struggling to move on (even though he’s moved on already :/ )
Anyway, does anyone have any tips or advice. Is it okay to still cut ties with him romantically and spiritually without our daughter involved?

Thanks

Hi everyone,

I have a 21 month old daughter- my only child.
And I’ve recently separated with my daughter’s father as I was experiencing emotional abuse and cohesive control. I am wondering will this pain ever stop? All we did was argue, and argue, and argue so I took my stuff and left. It took such a long time to leave because I didn’t want to split the family up- I loved him with all my heart and I genuinely thought he would be my last person. But it seemed the moment my daughter was born, everything changed- the mask slipped…
I just couldn’t afford to make my daughter and I suffer any longer.
I have lost everything, I don’t have a job (had countless arguments about this with my ex as didn’t want me to work because I HAD to look after our child) I lost all my hobbies and passions, I don’t have any friends and I’ve completely lost my own identity- I don’t know who I am when I look in the mirror.

I was suffering with post partum depression (I think I still am) and having very little emotional and physical support with my daughter.

I feel so depressed, I feel worthless, I feel like an awful mum. All I feel like I do is just shout at my daughter and then cry for hours feeling guilty.
I feel so disconnected from being a mum. I am so envious of couples who are so engaged with their kids and have lots of friends and family to help- just being happy. I want to be happy..
But I really feel like I am failing my daughter.
This anger and this pain is makes me want to give up on life, it hurts soo much…

I am waiting to do therapy (will be my third time doing therapy post partum) but the NHS is a joke with availability.

Does anyone have any words of encouragement or had similar experiences and it changed for the better? Or any advice on how to manage difficult times with my daughter being a single mum? She’s such a good girl and I wouldn’t change her for the world, but since it’s just her and I, my patience does run thin…

Thank you for reading