Moral Dilemma | What Should I Do?
This is a throw away acc that I don't want traced be to me. Ill try to respond as soon as I can. Sorry if this explanation seems repetitive.
I have a childhood friend (F 25) and she has been dating this guy (M 29) that the friend group has grown to hate over time. She initially did not like him since she didn't know him on a personal level.
I will clarify:
- I am married
- I have other "girl" friends that believe she should leave him
- I was initially happy for her relationship and now I'm concerned for her happines
- As conservative it may seem, we are all religious in this scenario and believe in marriage before intercourse
- I have a feeling she felt pressured into starting a relationship with him due to the religion and the people apart of it spreading rumors about them doing something scandalous
A little bit of back story, he was always know as a laid back, go with the flow type of person. He always liked to say and portray himself as a ladies man, irresistible, high end or has class to all his guy friends. He would like to keep all his "situationships" low-key, so unless you were part of the guy friend group you would never know. He lives with his uncle's family, his parents aren't in the same sate, he owns a old work truck, and essentially has never had any real "adult" financial burden that helps you learn and mature. The way that his guy friends say the things he has said about women is typical and disgusting. Ever since he has been in a relationship with my friend he has been showing his true colors.
He has admitted to his cousin that he does not like me at all as a friend of his girlfriend, and word has gone around about his distaste for me. He has told my friend that she pays too much attention to me at times and that it is not her burden to cater to me when "my husband is not with me". He always calls her everyday and every minute even when nothing is being said on call. He constantly manipulates, guilt trips, gas lights, and puts my friend in uncomfortable situations/positions as long as he gets the outcome ge wants. She has cried to me several times venting about how she has to completely explode, break down, and cry to make him understand her or to find some kind of compromise over small insignificant issues that he blows out of proportion. It hurts me to see her so upset and think she is insane for having an opinion and then made believe she exaggerated.
My friend acts like she has pink tinted glasses on and excuses most of his behavior no matter how terrible he makes her feel. I'm not the most amazing friend in the world I admit it, but I recently found some more concerning information about her boyfriend that has rubbed me the wrong way.
One of his old close friends mentioned this was prior to the relationship with my friend.
He revealed that my friends boyfriend admitted to having a crush on a married woman with a child and would smack talk the husband claiming he was not man enough to to have a woman like that and that he would get with her.
He has been asked on multiple occasions how long until he proposes or he seems himself getting married to my friend. The response I have personally heard was that he was not sure, and he has given everyone else a different response of 3 or more years. Which in the religious group a long relationship that does not lead to marriage is pointless and leads to temptation to sin.
Lastly, I had a one on one convo with my friend genuinely asking her if she thinks this is the one and if she believes she will be really happy with him after a few months into the relationship. I told her before asking that i was concerned for her happines since I began to realize what kind of a man child he turned out to be. She told she has grown to really like him and she is happy.
I really don't know how to bring this up to her without sounding like a bad friend or someone who's jealous of her happines. I don't want her to hate me but if that's the outcome I'll accept it. Every information i found out about this man eats me alive as I watch her belive his every word. Plz help, should I also tell her about this or is it not worth bringing it up anymore?